Sinister: Emily Pankhurst Spanked My Plank First!

[PJMiller]

Did anyone see the news last night? It was great, there were some
Australian sailors who had had something or other hammered up their
bumholes to celebrate crossing the equator for the first time. What a
fantastic idea! Have Belle and Sebastian crossed the equator yet? I
think they should have their musical instruments shoved right up their
arses when they eventually cross the equator. Just think, Mick and
Sarah could carry on playing their trumpet and melodica without any
problem, albeit a bit less tunefully than usual. Richard could make
some kind of pathetic percussion noise if he had a drumstick rammed up
his rectum, but Messers Murdoch and Jackson would be nothing short of
useless with guitars up their respective back passages, unless they
had some kind of bum-axe duel, like Blue Oyster Cult used to have.
Chris would have serious difficulties walking, never mind anything
else, with a Wurlitzer piano lodged between his buttocks, but nothing
is impossible, and if he tones up his botty muscles I'm sure he'll be
able to manage a tune or two, or a simple riff at least. On second
thoughts, this is such a good idea, it'd be a shame to waste it on the
equator. I think they should have their instruments hammered up their
bottoms with a meat mallet every time they cross the Greenwich
Meridian. What better way to promote the new album? I can't see Stuart
Murdoch refusing to be interviewed with a bloody big guitar sticking
out of his arse, can you? The opportunities for petulance are
seriously reduced with a musical instrument up your jacksie.

I nearly bought a record yesterday, Rawkus Big Todgers Volume 2, or
something like that, but I chickened out because it said "mixed by" DJ
someone or other, so I thought it might be one of those Jive Bunny
things. I wonder if I did right or wrong?

Also, did anyone tape Daltry on "The Bill"? Can anyone tell me what
role he was playing, and whether he whacked anyone with a chair leg,
like in "McVicar"? Keith's got the soundtrack, you know. "FREEEEEEE
ME!" sings Roger, bloodcurdlingly.

love from,

Sister Disco
xxx

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