Sinister: A Tigermilk Tale

[Guilherme Barrella]

Hello Sinisterines,

I must announce that I got my digital copy of Tigermilk. But it wasn't
easy, as some of you could imagine. I'd say that 99.99% of the
brazilians record shops don't have a single clue of who Belle and
Sebastian is... But this wasn't the only problem, well, here it goes:

A Tigermilk Tale, by Guilherme Barrella

When I woke up this morning I just had one thing in my mind: "I have to
get my Tigermilk today. I have to!" I went on a Tigermilk search last
saturday but nothing was found. "Today is gonna be the day, I can feel
it." So I took the tube and went downtown, letting my instincts lead the
way. When I got there, it was scary, lots of people everywhere, lots of
people selling things on the street, but that's downtown, what can I do?
But one thing told me I was on the right direction: there was a guy
selling tiny plush tigers. I should've got one but money is short.
Anyway, I found a store called Electronic Renaissance and decided to get
in. There was a beautiful girl behind the counter, which made the
situation very difficult to me, I'm too shy to talk to girls...
especially when they're beautiful. "Ok, I have to find Tigermilk by
myself", without help. I didn't even know if they had Tigermilk. Well,
after searching through the whole shop, through every single cd, I
couldn't find anything. To be honest, I found some early New Order
albums on sale. Suddenly, another girl entered the shop and asked the
ultimate question: "Do you have Tigermilk, by Belle and Sebastian?" I
turned around with a hopeful expression in my face. "Yes, you're lucky,
this is the last one." My world was over. That blonde bitch. She paid
and left, just like that, without any emotion. I followed her. "I'm
gonna take that away from her, it belongs to me. Yeah, I'm gonna steal
it." But this thought left as fast as it came. "Come on, what am I
talking about? Look The State I Am In just because of a record. I can't
do that." Well, I kept following her, with no apparent reason though.
She got in at the same station I was going to, so I was still behind
her. But she was fast, she ran to the train. She ran so much that she
didn't realize that something was falling from her purse. "She Is Losing
It! She Is Losing It!", I tried to shout but I was voiceless. When I
finally got her attention, the train was leaving. But she knew something
was missing and the look on her face was priceless. She lose not only
the cd package but all her Expectations.

I decided to take the next train and if she was smart enough, she would
be waiting for me on the next station. You know, I Could Be Dreaming but
I thought I saw a topless girl with a tiger on her lap, just near me, on
the train. I couldn't believe my eyes so I came closer to her. She
wasn't topless but she was holding something. I came even closer and...
"Oh, You're Just A Baby..." I said. "Get away from here you pervert!",
she shouted. It was my time to get out anyway, so I did.

And there she was, waiting for me. She couldn't believe when I gave her
cd back. She was very happy that I wasn't like the other people. And
guess what? She said that she knew me, we went to the same school, my
face was familiar. I couldn't remember of her though. She tried to
refresh my memory: "We were at the same class, remember? We Rule The
School! You used to say that to me all the time." Oh, I could
remember... She was a girl who made me feel miserable for these years.
But she changed a lot, well, apparently. "Am I still in love with her?
No, I'm not... I don't know what love is since... er... since... she
left me." But I thought maybe she deserved another chance, after all now
she is listening to Belle and Sebastian, she couldn't be that cold girl
I knew.

She wasn't surprised with the fact that I Don't Love Anyone. But she
doesn't feel guilty thought. She said she could change me. Well, I'm
really looking forward to this date. Mary Jo and me are going out next
Saturday. My Wandering Days Are Over, that's me being optimistic. Who
would tell?

That's it for today folks. Take care.

Love,

Gui (Some people call me Gooey)

PS -  This was a true story.

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