Sinister: Trinidad and Tobago ? Yes, I forced her to go.

[Michael Jones]

Dear One-Finger Soloists,

Well, sprinkle my brow with vinegar, I do believe we may be in for
something of a spell as they used to say in the music halls.  Just
warm enough to wear indecent clothing, and a nice breeze to spirit
away unsightly dampness.  Precisely the sort of weather in which one
should 'romp' in a 'meadow' with 'Susan Hampshire' to the strains of
The Free Design.  But first, this:

I know there are a lot of Magnetic Fields fans on this list, which
means there are an equal number of Magnetic Fields fans' brains on
this list and it is into these brains I wish to place the following
three-word phrase - Early Brian Eno.  Whaddyasay ?  An unconscious
influence on the young Merritt ?  It was my live-in pop consultant
Lady P who first noticed this - a few songs from the "Taking Tiger
Mountain..." era are strikingly similar in structure, production and
vocal phrasing to the glorious Mags.  Contradictory views to the
usual address - don't forget to mark your envelope But That's Noodly
ArtRock Dross You Moron.

Of course, living with a Yankee Doodle Dandy means I find myself
absorbing certain aspects of American Culture (it certainly isn't
forced down my throat - except on one very literal occasion when she
tried to choke me with a copy of The New Yorker, but that's all
salmon under the aqueduct now).  One of my favourite Crazy Things
That Americans Do is their use of the definite article to invert a
word's meaning.  Hence: "bomb" - something of very poor quality that
one might wish to avoid; "THE bomb" - really quite good !  "Shit" -
contemptible, foul-smelling, rank, hopelessly dire; "THE shit" -
utterly essential and excellent in all respects !  Isn't it great ? 
Oh sorry - isn't it THE dumb-ass ? 

PJ [Jim] "O'Rourke"['s Drift] Miller['s Crossing] had[daway] this
[heat] to say [you love me just because you care]:
 
> "L'Amour
> Aux Troussés", a 1974 thriller known in English as: "Hot Acts of
> Love". Trousers, what have you been up to? Think of the neighbours!
> Oh
> well, at least it wraps up Steady Mike's fantastic How Did Trousers
> Get His Name competition, although I'm not quite sure how.

Are you sure you don't mean "THE fantastic" ?  But yes - you've
blinking well gone and won... Visitors/Lucksmiths tape on its way to
you as soon as you send me your address.  Yes, that's the catch.

William Messent formed these words from thin air:

> I want to get
> drunk with her, but doing so will mean staying over, and I don't >
want
> her to think I'm just after a shag.

Get very, very drunk.  So drunk that it really is quite obvious that
you couldn't possible 'do' anything and she'll put you to bed.  The
following day you feel hugely unfulfilled and nauseous but you *may*
get to see her in her bra.  Remember to pack a camera.

Thanks to my spiritual leader, Rik Mayall, for that last paragraph.

B&S content: the beginning of "Slow Graffiti" is a close blood
relative of "Tennessee Waltz".  Apologies if this has been mentioned
before and I missed it.  What's an Arab Strap again ?  

Tindersticks (officially the only band worthy of taking the stage
after Belle & Sebastian) were fabulous in Brixton last night.  Almost
all new material - and a whopping great soul influence this time
around.  I'll trust it to someone who can tell their Gayes from their
Mayfields to be more specific about the sound of the forthcoming
album, but it sounded like a peach to me.  They were THE rubbish.

Goodnight, 

Mike.

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