Sinister: Belle, the Lord and I’ve been friends for a mighty long time

[poetryplace2]

Ahoy there, playmates

TIMOTHY HOPKINS’ CD (DECEASED)
All is quiet in the trousers-hopkins-hall household. Mostly because Tim hasn
’t moved in yet. However, his record player has, which has led me to invent
a hilarious pastime to while away the long summer evenings. For this
hilarious pastime you will need the following equipment:

one (1) glass of weak lemon drink;
a selection of assorted popular music lps.

First drink your glass of weak lemon drink. Then find a tune guaranteed to
offend Mr Hopkins’ delicate P!O!P! sensibilities. Then play it very loud. So
far I have played The Pixies “Come on, Pilgrim”; “Laughter, Tears and Rage”
by post-Propaganda ZTT losers Act; “Introspective” by the Pet Shop Boys;
“Aja” by Steely Dan; “Exile on Main Street” by The Rolling Stones; “Blue
Bell Knoll” by The Cocteau Twins and “Babelogue” by Raymonde.

We still have one week to go, so any further suggestions will be gratefully
received at the usual address.

NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL NOODLY ARTROCK DROSS YOU MORON
Iron Mike Jones burbled:

“Early Brian Eno?”

Yes please! You can never have too much Eno in your life. This year is
proving to be a bit of an Indian Summer for ludicrous pop-conceptualists,
with both Scritti Politti and Art of Noise remerging with confections of
perfection, much to my delight (and I suspect, Mr Jones’s). Actually, I don’
t think there’s any such thing as an “unconcious influence” when you’re as
self-conscious as Mr Merritt. I still think he should call his forthcoming
soixanteneuf-er “More Songs about Songs and Songs”.
Mike also mentioned funny Americanisms; I have always wandered about the
phrase “ass-backwards” which roughly translates as wrong way round. But
surely it should be “ass-forwards”? No?

ELECTRIC HONEY
Perusing The Guardian Guide this weekend I noticed an ad for the forthcoming
Cropreddy Festival, where Fairport Convention will once again kick out the
jams, motherfucker. Halfway down the bill, who should I see billed but “The
Honey Band”. So that’s what he’s been up to, the sly devil. Talking
of Honey and folk rock, I was interested to see that the ringletted
minstrelle Kate Jugsby has been nominated for a Mercury Music Award this
year, along with The Manic Street Preachers and The Stereophonics (shurely
some redundancy here). The Guardian call her “an outsider”, so I think the
Mighty Arm of Sinister oughta rig this award too.

MUSIC FOR GIRLS
Carsmilesteve mentioned in a throwaway fashion that his mates’ band were
going to be playing with Baxendale in London on Saturday. You should
definitely all go, cos Baxendale are the cat’s pyjamas, the mules’ eyebrows,
the dogs’ bollocks, and the best pop group I’ve seen all year. Even the fact
that singer jumped off the stage and landed on my bad foot the last time I
saw them cannot douse my ardour. I share this opinion with Dickon Edwards
and Matt Haynes and Darren Hefner, so I must be right.

THE BIG SHEEP
This month I have mostly been reading the Japanese novelist Haruki Murakami.
If you go to Waterstones at the moment you can get a big discount on his new
book “South of The Border, West of The Sun” which is very B&S-friendly, all
about falling in love with a young girl with a wonky leg and listening to
scratchy old records. All his other books are fantastic too. Actually, I had
a gander through the archives, and it seems that people were telling you all
this ages ago, but I had never heard of him before, which goes to show how
much attention I pay.

I’ve read more good books this year than I have heard good records, which
must mean I am getting old.

Until next time

Stevie Trousers
xxx








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