Sinister: My Baby's Got BSE

[PJMiller]

I don't know why the lovely Lydia came last in the Eurovision Song
Contest, because I didn't see it. I was too busy trying to find
somebody, anybody to go to see Napalm Death with me. Oh well. But I do
know that a few weeks/stroke/months ago, Lydia came to our local
Alcampo Superstore to sign copies of her album. Had I known she was
going to come last in the Eurovision Song Contest I would have gone
along and got her to sign my flab, but I didn't know, so I had to make
do with looking at the photos afterwards. She struck me as being a
very nice polite young lady, patiently attending the Tellytubbies
age-group fans queuing up for her autograph. Perhaps that's why she
lost, because all her fans were tucked up in bed, so they couldn't
phone their votes in. Well, a similar excuse seemed to work when
Beepster were desperately trying to explain away their surprising
"win" in the Brits. Will Looper be doing tour t-shirts for their
amazing "excess all areas especially the reading aloud area" US jaunt?

JD Salinger or Inspector Gadget? You decide....

Thank you to Ailsa for her detailed account of Saturday night. More
stalking, that's what we need. Those gorgeous blonde groupies sounded
like the Fembots from Austin Powers. I can just imagine Mad Dog
Murdoch loosening his collar and trying to think about Margaret
Thatcher in the nude on a cold day, to stop himself from getting a
stiffy, which would have led to the rapid evacuation of the entire
bar.

Have we got any Man City fans on the list? Here is a nice paragraph
from this week's "Economist" - the "Smash Hits" of the financial
world:

"In contrast, the many thousands of people in Manchester who have
rejected United and instead support the chronically unsuccesful
Manchester City get a fantastic press. They are "true fans" - in other
words, they are masochists who have turned their back on the hollow
pleasures of victory in favour of repeated and humiliating defeat."

Michael Jones, I have the solution to your problem - simply insert a
"Zeta" between your first and last names and hey presto!

Guys! If you're mates with a bird and then ask her out and she gives
you a knockback, try to stay mates with her - all is not lost! You
never know, she might have a good-looking mate with big knockers who's
dying for a shag, and willing to do it with absolutely anybody.

Sister Disco


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 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+
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 +-+                     "jelly-filled danishes"                   +-+
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