Sinister: Duglas T Stewart's searing expose of B&S (TONS of B&S content)

[Ailsa Ross]

Has no-one written a proper review of this top quality bit of telly
yet?  I watched it this morning at 9am just after my tape dropped
through the letterbox (cheers Rob, did I tell you you're a star?  I
probably did, but I'll say it again, and in public this time).

Well it was rather jolly, and it's the first time I've seen any B&S
videos apart from wee snippets of DD#2 and Is It Wicked.  Mick in a kilt
would definitely be in the updated parade of my ten biggest wanks if I
weren't full of catholic guilt about the whole masturbation scenario.  I
nearly fell off my sofa at the Century of Fakers video starring a person
I actually know.  Sandy, his name is, and he was responsible for
introducing me to Stevie Jackson, to which one of my ex-flatmates said
"oh, cos you're a really big Belle and Sebastian fan, aren't you" and I
got hugely embarrassed and couldn't bring myself to talk to Stevie for
the rest of the night as the fan/pop star divide had been set up at what
was meant to be just a table of friends out for a drink.  Elle, I looked
for you in the Century of Fakers video but I couldn't see you.  Mind you
I only met you once so I the picture of you I have in my mind may be
completely wrong.  Where about in the video are you?

Anyway, back to the programme content:

Some B&S videos.  Suspiciously high Select journo content.  Alarming
close ups of Mark Radcliffe's eyeballs.  Mick looking even more
embarrassed than he does on stage (and being interviewed in the
worryingly familiar site of the last rainy Glasgow picnic).  Caleb, was
that you in the programme?  I only met you for about three seconds at
Bowlie (trying not to but a copy of Papercuts off you in the pub) so
can't remember if I actually know what you look like but I think you
were in there?  Someone else I recognised but can't put a name to at the
bar at 200 Troubled Teenagers.  A REALLY bad cartoon strip with various
B&S-ers looking really like themselves (Chris, Mick, Stevie, and a
stunningly immaculate picture of Jo Kenney) a bit like themselves
(Isobel, Richard) and looking like totally different people (Sarah,
Struan).  Can't comment on the cartoon Stu D as it didn't jump out at me
much.  In real life though, Stu was in possession of the communal band
beard last seen adorning the chin of young Mr Colburn last week.  People
on buses in the not very B&S area of Bridge Street.  Mick's admission
that B&S are a bit rock and roll and not very fey.  I don't think I
heard the word "twee" mentioned once.  And all voiced over in the style
of a 70s educational video, much like a British (and real) version of
Troy McLure, I suppose.

The Kellogs/Nabisco song is definitely nothing I have heard before, but
I imagine is from about the same time as Pocketbook Angel, for reasons
that I thought when I was lying on my sofa early this morning but seem a
lot more vague now.  Sorry!

It was a rather pleasant way of spending half an hour anyway, and you
also get to see the inside of the legendary church hall and marvel at
what a dreadful haircut Chris Geddes really has.

More B&S content (what's wrong with me?)

Tigermilk at Kilmarnock.  Actually it's Somerset Park in Ayr, home of the
Honest Men (otherwise known as Ayr United, Struan and Neil's favourite
team).  I know this as I asked Struan about it when I met him last
week.  Perhaps that was what spurred him to mail it for our collective
perusal.  And it was put up when Tigermilk was out the last time as far
as I know (though any Ayr United fans on the list can correct me, if you
exist).  I wouldn't recommend supporting Ayr United if anyone is of the
persuasion to change their teams to fit in with their favourite
popster.  Their "stadium" is a toilet and their top striker is a Celtic
reject from several millenia ago who's a bit crap at taking penalties. 
Though you night bump into Struan at the pie stand.  Gerry Love has a
seat just in fromt of me at Celtic Park you know.  He's often there with
Joe McAlinden out of Superstar.  Like anyone cares :)

Book recommendations (I've never done this before, but hell, I've got
lots of B&S content, so I can do this too, yes?).  "Making History" by
Stephen Fry.  It's funny, it's educational, it's far too bloody clever
for it's own good, and it confirms my belief that Stephen Fry is one of
the greatest human beings in the world today.

I've got my Camber chalet booked too.  Who else is actually going then? 
The line-up is rather good and I will be sadly disappointed if there are
only about four of the original corner of filth and drunken depravity
members available.  I've even set aside my money for the kissing booth
too...rumour has it (OK started by me) that an end of season sale will
see Nick Dastoor available this time for the bargain price of only 30p
and a bag of dry roasted peanuts.  Though if he continues to sail
onwards and upwards in the list crush votes, then the queue may be
slightly prohibitive.  Struan and Stevie are expected to be busking to
entertain the queue forming for the charms of that nice Mr Trousers and
his horde of admirers.  Oh no all his votes are from the same person
aren't they?  Why did Warrender John get all his votes taken off him
when it was found out that he had been voted for ten times for the same
person but Trousers' 25 votes remain intact?  Hmmmm.

Oh, and I shall send Camber Sands tapes to the first five people that
ask me nicely and offer me nice tapes/presents in return.  The whole
version, not the 45-minute set that Radio One are punting.  Shouldn't
someone set up a tape tree for these?  I would, but I haven't the
faintest idea how.  Does anyone at all anywhere have a tape of the
Glasgow QM gig from a few years ago where they did Reel Around the
Fountain.  I'd rather like that :)

OK, that's more than enough from me for now.  Whistler, 13th Note, this
Thursday.  I'll maybe be the one in the blue duffel coat (weather
dependent, it might have to be discarded for the summer).  But everyone
that goes to Glasgow meet-ups knows me now.  Can we have some new people
please?  Sheeny Stalking Sarah Wheeler will be there, so expect a
plethora of B&S-ers lurking behind pillars and pretending not to stalk
her.

Ailsa xx
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