Sinister: Who needs a hobby like tennis or philately; I've got a hobby, re- reading Lady Chatterley

[Newth, Tom]

My B&S content will be represented by smut this morning, with tenuous links
drawn between smutty happenings and B&S songs.

Youn Jong Noh wrote:
Holding hands while riding bicycles looks like
quite a challenge, as anyone who saw "Les Mistons" should remember, but I
guess it relieves the monotony, not to mention clammy palms.

There are far more challenging things to try whilst riding bicycles. And
they don't help with the clammy palms either..

The best part of Les Mistons is the small child sniffing the teenage girl's
bicycle seat in slow motion. This could be similar to licking railings, in a
point-stretching sort of way, although marginally more likely to give you
thrush.

Having happily finished The Hand of Ethelberta on Isobel's kind
recommendation, I set off for work this morning clutching my old copy of
Delta of Venus, finally picked up to start on another of Isobel's tips. May
I suggest that no other young men attempt to read this book in anything than
the most loose fitting trousers whilst standing on public transport. Very
enjoyable, tho too much so for consumption in public. And now I have to
suffer(?) a day at work with images of distended penises and rouged vulvae
floating before my mind's eye... There's definitely a B&S song in there..
I've just shown it to the woman who shares my office and she is well and
truly engrossed.

On the subject of teachers and the sexual exploits thereof, the last bit of
smut concerns my friend the (erstwhile) English teacher. He never seemed to
be short of a nice young foreign lady to escort about town, and it would
appear that being a TEFL teacher, in England at any rate, is very good for
those who wish to take up with a bright young thing from overseas who is
returning there in no more than three months. One "conquest" confessed that
for the past month and a half, she and her friend had been watching the bit
of marker pen that he had accidently drawn on his trousers by the fly,
change from a deep royal blue to a sort of drab yellowy-grey. Nice to know.
Who'd be a teacher, eh?

That's it from me. Looking forward to some tigermilking tomorrow.

love to all,

spoon
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