Sinister: 94, is it a magic number?

[Nick.Dastoor at xxx.uk]

The lovely Arantxa wrote:

>There was a
>widespread concern about the short supply of smut lately, no doubt Nick
>relies on himself as the one to sort out our worries.My God.I am happy my
>mum cannot understand English in case she ever reads these things.Ewan is
>not going to be demanded again for a frontal one if Hollywood hears of
>Nick.

No, because Ewan MacGregor has a huge cock and I don't.   Hollywood, however,
has already heard of me, as I never tire of telling people.   Luckily, I was
only thirteen at the time and so had an excuse for not having a huge cock.  And
Mr Spielberg didn't ask me to show it to him anyway.  But if he had, what a
story it might have been!  If you look for me on imdb.com you'll find my surname
had only one 'o' then.  I have a policy of adding one letter to my name every
few years.  My the time I die I hope to be called Nichodopoloposis
Dastooredopevic.

Anyway, I'm sick of smut.  I am setting up a 'smut box' into which I shall toss
a coin every time I catch myself getting jiggy.  Chat room activity is excepted
because I find it's the only way to get through to people in there.

>I wonder how they make the Guardian every day...maybe they have gnome helpers
as Santa.

No, but we do rely on a huge army of immigrant sweatshop workers, or
'Oompah-Lumpah' as the management like to call them to throw the meddling
right-wing press off the scent of a scandal.  Thank God for the Oompah-Lumpah I
say!  If it weren't for them there wouldn't be enough hours in the day for me to
complete the Great Stoke Newington Novel that I am writing on company time.
It's like a cross between the Great American Novel and a Hampstead Novel, but
without the epoch-defining scope of the former or the good schools of the
latter.

I got sick of listening to 'The Gate' before I even bought it.  Please *God*
don't let this start off an endless thread about Belle and Sebastian.  Oh - ~

Nick xxx


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