Sinister: kiss me kiss me kiss me (delete if impatient)

[Lesley J Miller]

*WARNING ANOTHER BORING POST BY ME ABOUT ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, I'M NOT KIDDING
THIS TIME.  DELETE IF YOU HATE SUCKY RAMBLING THAT IS TOTALLY OFF TOPIC AND
NON-RELATED TO ANYTHING AND IS JUST AN EXCUSE FOR ME TO BLATHER ON*

what up all sinister bee-otches in da house
th't i would check in wit da crew even tho i havent' read the list in a week
cos my FRIGGIN MAIL IS DOWN AGAIN  what is this like the 17th time this
month??  apologies if anyeon tried to mail me.  i haven't been able to reply
to anyone cos i can't get to the messages i had.     if anyone cares you can
email me at trollopinpaisley at fcmail.com

i think i'm gonna put up a new picture on my page, just for fun until i get
the actual new page ready which will probably take forever, i will put up
one of my new characters i just drew, the very *sexy* trixycybele, puritans
stay away!!!

warning, this is a totally non-topical exhibitionist mail, delete if yr
squeamish or if you don't like my rambly posts.  i just feel like talking to
someone so why not a thousand people.  well that just proved how egocentric
i am.
Let me tell you a little update story.   Enter a certain Art girl.   enter
me hanging out periodically with art girl, once getting pissed at art girl,
then realizing there was no reason to be pissed and regaining my bearings,
thanks in part to the understanding wisdom of CHRISTA my homie.  Enter my
dyke friend Sam telling art girl i have a crush on her, and art girl saying
she knew all a long and she didn't want a 'relationship' rt now but she
still thinks i'm really cool and wants to hang out with me.  Enter me
meeting up with art girl and sam on friday afternoon, being embarrassed,
playing "she's losing it' on sam's guitar, then taking the evening to art
girls pizza place where some slacker guys promise to give us free pitchers
of beer.   we chat it up all over the place and get all friendly like, and i
drink 2 glasses of beer before i'm like going partially out of my head.
fuck. i c an drink a whole bottle of champagne and not get THAT dizzy.  i
vowed to drink no more that night and i did not.   me and art girl start
talking about art (what else?) and i think i spilled guts to her about
something dumb like how insecure i am, and what a huge romantic clingy
person i am. she seems to say that she feels the same way, or some such
rubbish.  after a while we stumble to the bar down the street.  by this time
i'm just wanting to fall asleep, or cry, or something.  i kept looking over
at artgirl and having to look away cos i couldn't stare into her eyes and
she kept asking if i was okay.  i was slumped over on the table drinking
water as fast as i could though a tiny little straw, hopeing it would get
rid of the feeling i was feeling, which was abject embarrassment and
emotional train-wreck.   she was dancing for a couple minutes and looked so
fine.  we 3 started discussing dancing.  sam and i can't dance.  someone
mentioned slow dancing.  in a flash of brilliance, or stupidity, i blurted
out that in my present state of mind, i wouldn't be loath to slow dance with
someone, which was the truth. i felt like a total moron.  Art girl says " i
would totally slow dance with you"  and then the chick playing guitar
started playing a slow song, and sam shoved me off the chair and i followed
artgirl to the  dance floor where 2 other girls were dancing, they looked
awfully straight though, i'm not sure what their deal was, but who cares.
art girl took me by the hand and she put her arm around my waist and one on
my shoulder and i did the same.  she held my hands and danced against me and
twirled me and she put her cheek next to mine and she stared me in the eye
closer and closer, and i had to keep looking away, because i was so
embarrassed i wanted to kiss her so badly and she acted like she wanted to,
but i'm not the smartest person about those things, and i had never danced
wiht ANYONE in my life.  i was scared stiff and could see sam  over hte way,
rudely watching us and it made me more embarrassed, but she was such a good
dancer she made it easy for me, and i held her tighter and grasped her
shoulder and she said "you're so cool" and she looked at me like "if we
weren't in public i would throw you down and ravage you like a wild tiger".
i could have stayed that way forever. at the end of the song she kissed me
on the cheek.  so softly, and took my hand and we left the dance floor, and
i promptly started trembling and i collapsed onto the  table and for the
rest of the time i just gazed into space like a drugged deer that just got
tagged  on the ear...except when we went to play the jukebox and i played
Abba "waterlloo" but we had to leave before it played and i was bitter about
that.   i stayed up at sam's whiniing and talking and waiting to get sober,
and at about 4 am i drove home listening to Nick Drake (thanks james) and i
thought of how gently she kissed me on the cheek, and cried just a little,
and   spent most of the weekend in a dream state worrying and fretting and
wondering what the hell i am going to do, and making her another tape.

i'm  fucking serious.  no one has  ever kissed me before in my life, or held
my hand even jsut a little tiny bit.  i'm going totally insane.  it's  belle
and sebastian all over again.    and again.    what the hell.......my gramma
is banging aroudn downstairs, it's friggin 4-30 in the morning.  anyway.  i
know that was a big lot of nothing and someone will probalby be pissed at me
for posting such non-topical garbage, but i guessed i could slip by since i
havne't posted anything for like over a week.  and i wanted to tell
someone(s) about what happened and that i've never wanted so badly in my
life for someone to sweep me off my feet.................. i need to listen
to francoise hardy, but instead i've been listening to Lida Husik and Gusgus
and dead can dance all weekend, except when i made her the tape, i put "Like
Dylan in the MOvies" on it because she is real big into  bob dylan.    i
know how ridiculous it is, but i just dont'  care.  i want something that i
shouldn't even bother with, and i want it BAD.   it's like potato chips, you
can't have just one.   it's scary as all hell to have a real life that seems
more like a dream.  the only time any one ever has held me was in dreams.
and i'm OLD.  OLD OLD OLD> she's younger than me and been around a million
more times.  i'll probaby get my heart trashed.

i had a dream last night something about B/S acutally, the band was there,
it was like a concert. christa was there.  stuart M looked way bigger than
in real life, he was very tall and had huge muscles and looked like a big
oaf.  but isobel was cute.    i dreamed about restaurants and canaries and
fish aquariums and
Hello JESSSSSSSSSS  are you there, girlfriend
HUGS to alyssa marie the sweetie  write me !
XO to christa maybe see you in DC BABY
xavier, i need to write you, your band sounds fab
and everyone else i need to write too, i need to call my  ISP tomorrow and
get my mails.

GRRRRR  what does a Welsh accent sound like??  what kind of accent did that
girl have on AbFab who played the dippy blonde chick? i loved her accent. i
forget her name rt now.   sorry / i'm interested by different accents.

what is Ramsbottoms?

i think i should go now before i just make a bigger ass of myself.   as for
my sinister friends, i shall communicate with you in the rather near future,
if all goes as planned.
--Rosa Bonheur

(LJ)


http://www.members.tripod.com/rebelstrange
they were like those gauche youths who turn up  to house  parties only to
cling to the dark corners  in chaste disdain, driven by the naive, vaguely
inhuman conviction that all merriment is a lie.
SAVE MST3K!!!!
http://www.mst3kinfo.com


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