Sinister: Easy and wee

[John Warrander]

Evening Gang,

The Paula Cullen Booze Explosion asked if there was anything good going on 
in London between tomorrow and Wednesday. And as it happens, there might 
well be probably the most exciting thing that could ever happen anywhere. 
Mr Lee Hazlewood is going to walk out onto the stage at the Royal Festival 
Hall sometime on Monday evening and then he's going to say something in 
THAT voice and then he's going to sing some of his amazing songs. And it's 
going to RULE. Better than Belle and Sebastian at Bowlie I'd guess. 
Definitely better than anything else you could possibly be doing. And like 
Levi Stubbs, I'll be there. And for good measure I'll be at a cinema on 
Saturday night watching Cowboy In Sweden and Nancy And Lee Live in Vegas 
too. And to think I could have been at Glasto. Blimey.

If you're NOT joining in the LEE weekend in London then you might well want 
to visit a cinema. I've visited several cinemas recently and it's a very 
enjoyable way to spend some time. I'd go and see "Orphans" if I was you. 
It's set in Glasgow and that's in Scotland where Stuart Murdoch lives and a 
it's got a scene where a filthy old wanker ejaculates onto another bloke's 
face (and it's not William Reid either) so that's pretty good. It's also 
got somebody who pees in their pants. Which incidentally is the definition 
of twee since you were asking. And twee's got nothing to do with "soft". 
That's when you shit in your pants and I do that all the time and no way 
would you call me twee. If you like your cinema a bit more "Art house" 
(i.e. it's got subtitles so it must be good) then I'm afraid there doesn't 
appear to be any Iraqi blockbusters making it to Blighty's silver screens 
this summer. I haven't checked though so don't bother telling me if I'm 
wrong. You should go and see "The Inheritors" though, which for a mucky 
foreign film hasn't got very much nudity in it, but I think it's some sort 
of metaphor for a bunch of chancers from a dark country overrun by homos  
exuals who stick it to the MAN and become one-eighth pop stars or 
something. It's better than French films. I've seen a few of them and they 
were mostly rubbish. Even the good ones.

And as for that Kevin Rowland in his "man" dress. I'll bet he's one of them 
homosexuals. I never did like that Dexy's.

Somebody ages ago described The Beach Boys' Friends album as "mediocre". 
Not so long ago I'd have turned purple with rage at such nonsense. Now that 
I'm married with children though I've calmed down a bit so fair comment 
mate.

And Genevieve, here's hoping that you had one spectacularly great Prom. And 
that your bosoms were suitably heaving. Ahhh, that's a nice thought to 
finish on.

See you mates,
Love...John


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