Sinister: Nostalgia's for the lame

[Stuart Gardiner]

Long time, no see...

Well last time I posted about my absinthe-induced debauchery, it seemed to
provoke quite a bit of interest. So now that the last couple of weeks
since then have been even more eventful, I felt it my duty to keep you all
up to date. So if you don't care, you may as well delete now...

OK, the story so far: Stan, who is a friend of a friend from another
college, was going out with Laura. For the second time, after splitting up
painfully a couple of years ago. Stan's two best friends in college are
Chris and Evie (despite persistent rumours, Stan and Evie have always
claimed that nothing ever went on between them). At a party 2 1/2 weeks
ago, I got rather too intimate with Laura (not that intimate, you
smutty-minded fools) whilst Stan was in the next room.

Now, last Tuesday was the night of our college May Ball (free drink and
food all night, comedians, a hypnotist (yes, I did it again...), dodgems,
Boy George DJing, and Roland Gift (who used to be in the Fine Young
Cannibals) playing a great set, including all the old hits, like
Suspicious Minds and She Drives Me Crazy). At this Ball, Stan's friends
Chris and Evie got together, and as far as I know they still are. Also at
the ball, I got together with Evie's best friend, Emma. Also at the ball,
Stan and Laura conspicuously failed to get together, and subsequently
split up three days later.

Are you still following this? Good, because on Monday of this week, Emma
and I split up (possibly the world's shortest relationship!) because she's
graduating tomorrow and won't be around after that. And now this
afternoon, in a pub by the river, I resumed getting intimate with the
now-single Laura. Who, incidentally, is also graduating this weekend and
leaving Cambridge on Monday. Oh, and I forgot to mention, Evie and I are
currently planning on travelling around South America together for a
couple of months at the beginning of next year. Even though I haven't been
in contact with her since I split up with Emma, since I'm sure she had
something to do with the splitting-up process. The soap operas couldn't
come up with a story like this. It's typical, you wait months for any
gossip to happen to you and then loads comes along at once...

Anyway, I'm currently debating in my mind whether I want to spend so long
with Evie or not. If you've got any opinions on the subject, I'll be
amazed that you've managed to figure out what the hell's going on...



In other news, I'm now working 6 days a week in a local pub, so I doubt if
I'll be making it to many picnics for a while. But then, everyone knows
that the only thing we do at picnics is discuss Genevieve's heaving-bosom
prom dress. Well, that and taking the piss out of Mark C's ever-receding
hairline.

Oh, and while I'm here, the new Shack album is good, but not as good as
Michael Head's last album (The Magical World Of The Strands) which you
should all have bought by now. And I can't listen to the Shack single
'Comedy' without it reminding me of Sheryl Crow's 'All I Want To Do'.
Which is not a good thing. Oh no.


I still haven't found out which 4 people have been voting for me as their
list crush, but I'd like to...

Big Stu
(List Tart Extraodinaire...)

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