Sinister: I Sniff Jury's Underpants

[PJMiller]

Chris pondered:

"How do you know If somebody likes you? I don't mean simply 'likes
 you', but " 'likes you', likes you". You know."

It's easy to tell when a girl likes you, because her nipples light up
and start flashing on and off.

My nipples lit up and started flashing on and off the other day when
the postman brought me two very welcome packages. One of them
contained "Trousercuts", the best fanzine in the world. I must admit I
was expecting a blurry mess that smelled of methylated spirits, made
on the Poetry Society duplicator, but in fact it's quite professional
and posh, almost on a par with "real" magazines, like Look-In and
Horse & Hounds. My favourite part is Ronan Barret's deliciously
demented account of Irish music. I agree that The Corrs are
diabolical, but I quite like that song they've done with The
Chieftans. I bet they all had a right old orgy after recording that,
with the little fella who looks like Benny Hill's mate taking the
initiative. And then I bet they had a nudie fart contest, and the
drummer won.

Do you remember that nudie fart contest we had in the dark after the
first Sinsiter picnic on Primrose Hill? I reckon that the best thing
about being part of the Belle and Sebastian cult following is the free
and easy sexual attitudes we all seem to have, especially towards each
other. The upcoming Bowlie Weekend at Camber Sands
promises to be a non-stop merry-go-round of frenzied sexual activity.
I'm going to try and get over my shyness this time and do it with a
boy. I hope there won't be too many journalists around, or we'll be
getting quite a reputation! I must admit I was surprised that Stuart
Murdoch was so willing to join in last time!

I haven't mentioned my other package yet - recordings by Looper and
The Gentile Waves. We all know where the name Looper comes from, but
apparently Isobel named her side project after the foreskin
undulations on an uncircumcised dinkle! You learn something new
everyday! I expected both albums to be a bit pish, but they're
splendid. The Looper album has a delightful "Noggin the Nog" feel to
it, and Isobel has proven that her naughty cowgirl outfit was not mere
posturing. She's like Patsy Cline or Lorena Bobbitt, only Scotch.

I've seen three films this week, award winning Joey Deacon epic "The
Idiots", award winning Ronan Barret epic "The General" and award
losing crime caper "Serial Mom" by John Waters. Can you guess which
one was best?

Sister Disco


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