Sinister: Bobby and Thelma doing fine

[Honey]

All my distant lovers,

What's happened?  After levelling out for a bit we're suddenly
beginning to leap with new listees again, which makes my simple heart
glad.  A cheery, slightly blushing hello then to everyone new in
Sinisterland.  And pats on the back at the patience of new people who
wait in silence until they can post, rather than yelling at me.  I'm
very pleased people do stick around, being a little apologetic if
determined about the whole nursery thing, and I hope you all feel
welcome here, even if you don't know who "Tim Hopkins", "Duke" or
"Stuart Murdoch" are.  Yet.  I can assure you that in a few months
time, you, like me, will have your nighttime dreams invaded by such
shadowy figures, and some of those dreams might be rude too.  Mine
haven't been so far, but it's only a matter of time.

Anyway, to anyone new, this place sometimes feels a little...
forbidding when you first stop by.  I just want to assure you it
isn't, it's just got a History, which is a different thing entirely,
and we're all very friendly here, honestly.  Sinister Likes New
People.  Of course it's not *just* those who forget their history
that are condemned to repeat it, as demonstrated by the appearance of
anagrams, which you could set your watch by.  I'm allowed to say this
without sounding cheeky, because I sent some B&S anagrams to the list
about 18 months ago.  Bleed Satan Lesbian indeed.

Hey!  What's this!  A "ListSearch" box at the top of the front page
of the Sinister WWW site?  "How handy!" I hear you all cry.  Hmm.
This week in my Handy Hints section I'll also tell you all of a new
command you can use to manipulate the list for your own evil desires:

- The "nomail" command -

This is useful if you're going away but don't want to resign your
membership - just send the command:

set sinister nomail

(or sinister-digest) to "majordomo at majordomo.net" and lo and behold,
everything will go quiet till you send a "set mail".  Useful for long
weekends away.  But please remember: don't be afraid to leave the
list if you're going to come back later and want to avoid the
nursery: if you've BEEN a member you will skip straight back in again
when you return, even if you un- and re-subscribe.  Next week: the
delights of "set digest".

Some of you might have found the WWW site or even mail a little slow
recently: the reason appeared yesterday.  Apparently a major line
between the UK and US was severed by.. a fishing trawler somewhere
between the Faroe Islands and Iceland.  Seriously.  Faroe Islanders
on the list take note.  I think this is a fabulous excuse, better
even than "the dog ate my homework, miss".

Sir Michael of Steadiness decreed:
> A quick trip to the archives reveals some fiendish font tomfoolery
> has taken place.  Whether it's my browser, the archive software or
> a deliberate act by Honey...

Erm.. ok I've been using all you archive readers as subjects in mad
scientist experiments with HTML, and I make no apologies (until
someone belts me) because I like it.  And I'm not very good at HTML
and am "honing" my "skills".  So yes, if you've seen fonts on the
Sinister pages go all loopy recently, it's down to me.  As Mike
pointed out, I've tried to make the pages for messages to the list
look like your Aunt Fanny writing to you from Sinister Towers: well
that's if you have a font called "Lucida Handwriting" installed on
your computer (if not I'm sure you can get it from www.microsoft.com
etc., or your local pet shop).  Also something called "Comic MS Sans"
might make the whole WWW site look a little... more digestible.

If however I've made a right mess up of your viewing pleasure, then
do let me know.  No-one who knows me trusts me with a screwdriver.

I should also record my joyful thanks and big eyed wonder to "Pam n
Mike" Pam Berry for a fabulous birthday present sinister photo-album
made from a spookily appropriate old childrens book.  Anyone who
sends presents like this is bound to make nice music: how come no-one
talks about Glo-Worm on this list?  I'm going to fill my new album
with photos from the "private" Sinister Nudie Photos Page, URL only
known to those who have sent me nudie photos.  Get your entries in
now.

Oh and - don'ch'all think (it's catching) that we could do with some
more pinups?  A gentle reminder the anyone (which means you, dear
reader) that sending a photo of you now, you when you were 2 foot
tall, or your maths homework last night in JPG format will secure you
a place on the Sinister site in the "How We Are Now", "How We Were
Then" or "Things We Made At School Today, Mummy" pages.  Just send
them along to me and don't be so shy.
http://www.majordomo.net/sinister/index.shtml#photos

How come no-one talks about "Appendix Out" on this list?  I just
heard a couple of tracks by the fabulously named scottish band on a
cheapo Creeping Bent compilation and they're fantastic: like Chris
Leonard in bed with Will Oldham.  That's not an accusation, merely an
observation, but I'll be selling pictures privately from home.

Finally, Viscount Andy Tracey noted that he seems to have lost the
ability to read anything other than pamphlets after studying Physics
- yes exactly the same thing happened to me.  The delightful Damon
sent me a fabulous book about 6 months ago and I'm still on page
about 40, even though it's a corker of a read.  I took 9 months to
read my prize from what was maybe the first Sinister competition, a
book from Mr Trousers.  Isn't it a bit off that the person who runs
the list won the prize?  But that was in 1997 when the world was
young.

dr honey xxx

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