Sinister: the world of men don't mean a thing

[poetryplace2]

Bonjour mes braves

::::::::::GOBI TWINS::::::::::

Last night we all went out see Mr Forster and Mr McLennan formerly of The Go
Betweens playing at the so-called Jazz so-called Cafe. What a couple of
hams! Bobby was wearing a shocking yellow suit and more slap than Dickon
Edwards. And they came back for 4 encores! Nevertheless, we forgive them,
cos they played 'People say...' and 'Right here', and 'Batchelor Kisses'
and, ooooh, a handful of my very favouritest pop songs of all time. They
certainly cheered me up after I spent  the afternoon with a pubful of
charming cockerney reds chanting "champeryons!". Bah.

::::::::::I DREAM OF STEWPOT::::::::::

Is it just me? Ever since we returned I've been dreaming incessantly about
bowlie. In one of the dreams Struan gave me a pair of magic contact lenses
which gave me the power of invisibility. In another I met Paul Morley who
was staying in the next chalet and who told me what a big fan he was. In
another, the band left the stage, only to be replaced by a bunch of can can
dancers, replete with frilly bloomers. I don't like to ponder what it all
means. Can I just say that my highlight of the weekend was when Isobel
introduced Stewpot with his shiny new saxophone, only for the poor fella to
be let down by his "axe" at the crucial moment, looking forlornly down the
end and thinking "i dunno what's wrong, this has never happened to me
before...".

::::::::::POETRY PARROT (SLIGHT RETURN)::::::::::

The Poetry Parrot has returned from his travels with a sheepish grin and
some unconvincing alibis. He gave me this poem by top scot poet Robert
Crawford, before departing in the direction of Ailsa Ross...

++++++++++++++++
ROBERT CRAWFORD
ZERO

Thankyou for calling Heatheryhaugh Nuclear Arsenal.
If your main lust is for weapons of mass destruction
Please try out other number in Inverbervie.

On your touchtone phone jab one for details
Of bombs that kill crofters but leaves brochs and megaliths standing;
Two for snug dumpsites; three for pre-owned

Atomic oddments with warranties for several years;
Four for rucksacks of fissile material;
Five will patch you through to Glencora Gillanders,

Anthrax buyer for the Loch Ness and Great Glen area;
Six for the Arsenal's renowned in-house distillery;
Seven affords highlights of our unusual safety record,

Reassuring callers we are sited in a remote location,
Though, should you wish to visit, pressing eight provides
Pibrochs from this area of comical natural beauty.

Nine connects you to our twelve-hour emergency helpline
(Not staffed on Sundays, Hogmany, or New Year's Day).
If this extension is busy, please yell your number

So someone can ring back at a more convenient time.
Thanks again for calling H.N.A.
*Sláinte!* Do not press zero.
++++++++++++++++

That is all

Stevie Trousers
xxx



+----------------------------------------------------------------------+
   +---+  Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list  +---+
  To send to the list mail "sinister at majordomo.net". To unsubscribe
   send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
  "majordomo at majordomo.net".  WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+
 +-+  "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+
 +-+                     "jelly-filled danishes"                   +-+
+----------------------------------------------------------------------+