Sinister: An apology

[Ailsa Ross]

OK, I have obviously not given my last post the due care and attention
it deserved, and as a result have been misconstrued somewhat.  It's just
difficult to think rationally when something I care about as much as
this list is erupting all around me :)

Cynthia Someone wrote:

> I feel I must speak, because obviously I have been misheard in some
> respects. Ailsa suggests that I am criticizing Honey's efforts and that for
> some reason the length of time I have been on the list (9 months) has
> something to do with my ideas...


Cynthia, this absolutely could not be further from the truth.  The only
reason I made the point about how long you had been on the list was to
give myself a reference point before mentioning the rules.  I wanted to
know whether you knew about the switch to the nursery system, and also
would have felt a touch foolish had I said "and the rules have always
been the same on the list" if you had been here since long time before
me and they all got changed before I came along sticking my nose in.  It
was perhaps badly worded and I apologise.  I try so bloody hard to be
fair and inoffensive and courteous, dirty words in some people's books I
know, but hell, it's just the way I am.  Or at least try to be.  And I
have stuck up for new people and old people on this list, and try to be
as non-judgmental as possible.  I'm sorry you see me as so petty that I
would draw distinctions between people based on how long they have been
here for.  I'm not, honest :)   

> people are choosing sides. Why choose sides? 

I don't see it as choosing sides.  I see it as backing Sinister.  See,
it's Honey's list to do with as he pleases.  If he turned it into a
crypto-fascist state tomorrow, I'd unsubscribe.  I might be tempted to
try and start my own list.  I would not try and change his mind, it
would soon be changed when 1100 people disappeared off to the
alternative fan resources on the web, or created their own.  But
ultimately this is Paul's list to do with as he pleases.  He's doing
this, as I keep saying, for fun and for us.  It must be bloody difficult
to find the motivation to go on when it all gets like this.  He alone
says what goes, OK, there are a few of us (I hold my hands up to this)
who come along and do some prodding on his behalf, but it is a mammoth
task for one man and all I have ever tried to do is stand up for him and
his list.

Actually, backing Sinister is choosing a side isn't it?  I do apologise,
but it's hard to be coherent and logical when all you can see is a red
mist descending.
 
> as for my suggestions as to advice or group agreed rules, Ailsa is right, it
> would be too much effort. I was just trying to help. I felt that if there is
> discontent as to how the list was run, there should be some way to solve the
> problem. I mean, hey, if there are a lot of discontented people, and
> discontented for good reason, than maybe they should be heard.

In hindsight, I wish I had taken out that bit about getting my inbox
clogged up with rule suggestions.  Not because I know think it's a good
idea, but because I don't feel I have any right to tell Honey how to run
his list, and neither does anyone else.  That is not to say I am right
obviously, and perhaps if you all write to Honey and tell him how you
feel about things he will do something about it.  That is, after all,
what he's there for :)

Big hurrahs to Nick Dastoor for being the second SOS-er out of the
closet.  I know three people know involved in this (one has written to
me privately, but public outing of this person is at their discretion
not mine), and so far if I *had* to have an elected body to run this
thing, all three of them would be on it.   But it was all working so
well before the shit got thrown at the fan, why the hell is this making
such a difference?  Can anyone honestly say that had these allegations
not been made public that they were desperately unhappy with the way
Paul is running this list?

To anyone else I may have been causing offence to, I'm really really
sorry.  I am not one of Paul's little gang of friends, I have met him
twice and have probably spoken to him for about five minutes in my
life.  I am just a fan of this list and I want to stand up for it and it
so happens that the way I see it is that means I have to stick up for
Paul too.  I am all of these things I tried to stand up for earlier in
the week, nice, courteous, tolerant, polite, well I try to be wherever
possible.  So if I upset anyone else with my poorly phrased thoughts,
I'm sorry :)  It sounded nice and rational and non-controversial in my
head, I swear :)

That's more than enough from me now, and once more, apologies to
Cynthia.  I'm going for a lie down, people who wrote to me, you'll just
have to wait until later I'm afraid.  But thanks :)  

Ailsa xx
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