Sinister: you all love it up the arse

[susannah]

You do! you really really do!
Shut up.

Anyway, I feel compelled to right in and tell you about a clever clever doggy
who lives down the road.
He is a black doggy and runs around Stoke Newington with no collar on.
But the funny thing is, he uses the zebra crossings!
I've seen him use two different ones now, and he'll actually hesitate before
crossing them, just to make sure the cars are stopping before walking out. What
a clever doggy.
Also i resigned from my job last week. Just walked in and said 'stick it up your
arse you fat knobhead'.
Actually thats a lie I wrote a very polite letter that went something like this:
'Dear Boss,
I am notifying you of my resignation. I am leaving on the 18th June, and
therefore have given the required months notice.'
Yours etc. etc.
But what exactly are you meant to write? people talk about 'giving in their
notice' but whats meant to be in it?
Thing is, when I go, nobodys going to flippin' well notice anyway.
I walked out that day thinking ' yeah, yeah, I've done it, yeah, that showed
them! cunts!' but about fifteen minutes later it had spookily changed to
'ohmigod, what am I meant to do now?'

Escort girls, right, do they actually have to have sex? or is it just taking old
men to the opera and listening to them moaning about their wives?
Thing is  you get loads more money if you actually 'do' it, so if you take them
out, and they turn out to be 'alright' then why not?
I've done it with worse people for less. I've done it with worse people for
free. Anyway, the one off 'Cops' who went to the escort agency was fit.
Ewan McGregor fans watch out. You know you all thought he was a nice loving
family man? Bollocks to that. Apparently he's a real tart and gets off with
loads of girls. He had an affair with Anna Friel whilst filming Rogue Trader,
she was obsessed with him apparently, and I met this girl last Saturday whose
friend shagged him in the toilets of a film doo, and afterwards he wiped himself
on the curtain, zipped himself up and went out to meet his wife. And Gary
Linekar? Mr. Squeaky clean? uh-uh, shags anything that moves.
Liam Gallagher? Had sex with Kate Moss at a party and thats why Patsy walked
out.
I know its all a bit graphic but girls, you gotta know. Don't trust 'em.

Right. Shut up.

Susannah.



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