Sinister: can you believe that jessica has an opinion?

[jessica]

hi sinisterkids,

things have been pretty heavy on this list lately, as is wont to happen from
time to time. and i'm going to do what i've done since first subscribing -
breathe through it and let it pass. i don't like to add fuel to the fire, as
i know certain disagreements have no happy resolution and i see no need to
be caught in malicious crossfire.

anyone that has bothered to pay attention to me over the last two years or
so will know that i run and hide whenever anything controversial comes up.
and although this is a touchy subject, i want to stick up for the list
publicly and say that i'm not trying to negate the feelings of anyone that
feels sinister doesn't fit into their lives anymore. but i'd also like to
say that some great things have happened to me because of this list, that
i've met wonderful people here and had my heartstrings pulled by touching
posts more than once.

i like that this list is moderated, that someone is there to herd us in when
we're running in traffic. i like the job honey has done and is doing. like
all things in the world, this list runs in cycles of great and not-so-great,
and although i can see that a change has happened i would also like to be
idealistic and say that things will get better. and they will, i think, if
people who would like to be nasty would either bugger off or else learn how
to put things constructively and provocatively. mud slinging just makes
everyone dirty.

this is not to condemn those who feel it necessary to unsubscribe, whether
temporarily or permanently, when things get bad. i've had to delete so darn
many posts related to iain's silly comments that my delete finger is sore
and i have wondered what has happened to everyone's love affair with
sinister. the reason i stay is because i love hearing bits of other people's
lives, not always belle and sebastian-related but always underwritten with
the knowledge that there exists a commonality, and often underwritten with
the need for an accepting community, which is the main purpose for this
list, i think. whether or not this list is formally a belle and sebastian
list doesn't distract from the fact that it's full of a whole bunch of nice
people who, on the whole, are supportive of others' genuine efforts and take
pleasure in little things.

andrew skilton wrote:
>interesting that, considering how long the rules for posting (cunningly and
>somewhat misleadingly referred to as the "FAQ") are, they fail to mention
>probably the singularly most important thing about the list - that we're
all
>being watched and commented on all of the time.

i've got news for everyone (except andrew, i suppose, since he's
unsubscribed in a fit of apparent impatience): if you think you could ever
be on a list where list happenings are not discussed in some way or another
outside of the list, you're veryvery mistaken and i wonder why you expect to
be notified of every conversation or sub-group that's developed because of
the main list. a natural progression of sinister is that groups of friends
have developed, and if they've developed because of sinister then it's quite
likely that they'll be discussing all of us at one point or another. or some
of us, anyhow. it seems childish and naive to me to believe that everyone
who talks about the list, even if it's honey or other "list elders" or
whatever, would see fit to include everyone else. if that's what you really
want, go to the newsgroup. but i bet it will even happen there.

i've likely been overly redundant here, and perhaps offensive or
patronizing. and i'm sure even boring to most of you. but it occurred to me
that i've never really mentioned why this list is important to me, and this
seemed like as good a time as any to bring it up.

thanks for listening,
jessicaxo

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
someone had spied on us, i suppose, as we sat beside
the canal and ate the sandwiches, drinking not even
orangeade or coca-cola but hot milk out of a thermos.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
t i n y s t a r @ w o r l d y . c o m  (it's lovely being a girl)
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