Sinister: Ealing Hotsteppa, Mornington Wednesday, Putney Drains

[Michael Jones]

Arise, fellow slaves of the sex-industry...

Janey Blackall pushed the following note under our doors before
slipping into night:

> Just a quickie - I seem to remember mention being made of a picnic
in Greenwich park this weekend,
> are there any definite plans on that front yet?

As definite as can be, Janey.  See Jeepster message board for further
details (summary: 2pm, Greenwich station, bring some grub).

Paul Field had the full support of the parish council when he
declared:

> I'm after some advice from the literary crowd out there. I've been
asked to
> do a reading at a friends wedding, and I was hoping somebody out
there in
> sinisterland had any suggestions as I know more about pottery than
poetry.

Then talk about pottery - honestly, it's always best to stick to what
you know in these situations.  Andy Dean's fashioned a lucrative
sideline in after-dinner speaking with his Sarah label-photo
anecdotes and Trousers brought the house down at the last Rotarians
meeting with tales of Stevenage Bus Depot.  

If you really do insist on reciting verse, then you could do worse
than invest in a slim volume by former Sinisterine Linton Kwesi
Johnson.  His spell on the list is a fondly remembered one, though I
don't think anyone really knew what he was on about.  Eventually he
fell out with Bob Clearmountain over a uncleared sample of "Inglan Is
A Bitch" and they both unsubscribed in disgrace.  Bob, of course,
re-subbed for the digest posing as former Notts County and Coventry
hardman Brian Kilcline, but no-one was fooled.

Stephen Hewitt stopped flossing long enough to cast a glance over his
shoulder and whisper:

> I *do* know a lot about music, but only top
> twenty stuff, with a side line in nineties alt-pop and I'm sure I
must be
> missing out on loads of ace stuff, even though I can usually work
out the
> 'mystery year' on Simon Mayo within two records.

A skill not to be sniffed at.  This morning I had my little pocket
radio with me on the train and I failed to recognize 1987 (a Mary
Chain song that I mis-identified four times to myself until the
'April skies' chorus gave it away and a Prince/Sheena number
featuring the immortal lines "your face was jammin', your body was
slammin', let's get to rammin'") or 1993 (a Manics song that sounded
like "Sound and Vision" and World Party doing their Kinks pastiche). 
I may have been distracted by the clown sitting opposite me droning
on and on about derivatives and market share on his mobile.  Mobile
phones in tumour link ?  Natural selection at work, surely. 

Chris Leonard purred seductively:

> Stars in Their Eyes is my favourite program ever, and 
> Mathew Kelly is a presenter virtuoso of the highest order!

I think it was Chris who told me about the rules on blacking-up and
drag (i.e. you can't do either) - perhaps Elisabeth would like to
verify ?  Understandable I suppose, though it scuppers my plans to
appear as Missy 'Misdemeanour' Elliot on the next series ("Beep beep
!  Who's got da keyz to da jeep ?  Brrrrmm...").  No Lena Zavaroni
either.  It would be only be like little Jimmy Krankie in reverse. 
And *that* counts as family entertainment.  Bah.  Double freaking
standards.

Off to practise my "Climate of Hunter"-era Scott.

Mike.
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