Sinister: No Who content (but a bit of B&S)

[Ailsa Ross]

Why, hello there, boys and girls :)

Mark Casarotto wrote:
 
> Why not name your new pets after your favourite listee? An outbreak of
> hamsters, iguanas and tarantulas called Ailsa Ross can only be a good
> thing...
 
thereby concluding that he is in fact clinically insane.  Mark, me being
everyone's favourite listee was *so* last week, dah-ling :)  The next
pet I get, I'm going to name Alix Campbell.  Cos she made me a tape with
Loneliness... (thank you, sweetie) on it and she made me laugh so much
the other night with tales of Robbie Williams and goats' gonads and
stoats that one of my contact lenses fell out.

Last night I wrote a big long thing about LLPJ and then my computer
crashed.  Scarily, it crashed as I was noseying around SteadyMike's
Bowlie photos, and it was a photo of Casarotto that made it crash. 
Hmmm.  (There's a lot of photos of Trousers.  That's "Trousers" not
"trousers".  Sometimes capital letters help.  Who said the other day
they were the only person on the list that put capitals in the proper
place?  I take great care to punctuate and capitalise correctly, now, I
just have to add quality content to match and maybe you'll stick around
to notice...)  Anyhow the *reason* that Casarotto made my pooter crash
is because he knew that my theory on LLPJ was almost the same as his. 
Though I had an bonus extra bit about "and you hope that she will see"
with regard to having boys on buses being an example of classic symptoms
of being me (I'm not sure if all low-self-esteemers are like this) of
something not being a good thing unless other people see and approve of
it.  See, if you've got hideously low self-esteem, as I assume Jane must
if she needs to go round shagging everything in trousers (as opposed to
Trousers, see - the benefits of correct sentence casing) for a bit of
validation, not only does all the casual sex make her feel wanted and
exciting and probably better about herself for a few minutes/hours, it's
all the better if someone knows she's doing it as that should make her
seem like she is attractive, and therefore approved of.  I would also
hazard a guess that Jane likes a fair drink or too, as firstly that is
how to get yourself in a situation where a quick shag seems like the
answer to everything, and also how you fall asleep at bus-stops.  And
why you wonder what you're gonna do about it, before going out and
repeating your never-ending cycle of loneliness and shame next time you
get drunk. But that's just a theory, and probably not a very good one at
that.

What I *do* know, is that the sleeve notes bear a remarkable resemblance
in places to the theme and video of TIGGERJAMMERS in places. 
Graveyards, places in the East End in Glasgow ("she went out to the
Easter House"), erm, I can't remember why or how it all tied together so
well in my head last night at about midnight, but it did.  I'll maybe
get back to you with a coherent theory later, but I doubt it.
 
> I actually though that Nick *was* Ronnie Corbett for a bit (the resemblance
> is quite strong in real life too) - he's on the list, obviously, but calls
> himself PJ Miller. Which explains a lot.

I used to go to school with Ronnie Corbett's niece.  She's called Nickie
too, you know.  Coincidence?  Quite probably.  She was in the same year
as top Daily Record reporter (see website press archive) Duncan "Rick"
Fulton.  And also top TV presenter Dominik Diamond.  Colin Montgomerie
(red-faced puffy Scottish golfer noted for coming second in everything)
was at my school for a year in the 70s, and the school magazine gets to
mention him in their "Old Boys" news (they never quite got a handle on
the fact it went co-ed in 1983), except he's just lumped in with
everyone else, giving rise to things like "Ailsa Ross completed an
honours degree at Glasgow University, Crispian Fotherington-Ponce got
married to Camilla Snootiness-Posh, Colin Montgomerie finished top of
the Volvo PGA European Tour Order of Merit for the third successive
year, our old headmaster now lives on a farm near Auchtermuchty..." etc,
like it's an everyday thing for ex-pupils to be world-beating sports
stars.  One old boy is in the Scotland World Cup cricket squad, but that
certainly does NOT make him a world-beating sports star.

I was going to end with a smutty comment inspired by Sister Disco's
revelation that he'd been "done" by the Who on Nationwide in the 70s,
but quite honestly, the involvement of Frank Bough scares me, so I won't
bother.  That's why there's no Who content.

I shall see some Scottish types tomorrow evening, no doubt, and I shall
endeavour to catch up on personal correspondence at some point quite
soon (sorry, I've been neglecting you, you know who you are...).  

Oh, "subtle as the wind is grey".  Maybe it's "subtle as the wind, is
grey".  Meaning he is grey and that's as subtle as the wind, and and as
a result is able to lurk in unusual places, unseen.  A wind can be
subtle, right?  It's a variable concept of wind strength and subtlety.

I was never very good at poetry crits at school.  Can you tell?

Ailsa xx
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