Sinister: HOW TO EMBARRASS PHOTCOPIER MAINTENANCE MEN IN 1 EASY STEP.

[Paula Cullen]

comrades!

nice weekend, i trust?

~ i sure did ~
i think i must be the first person in the whole wide world and africa to 
receive a belleandsebastian-themed injury.
oh yes.
on sunday, i received a *corduroy burn*.
a so-called *corduroy wearer*  decided to jump on me from a considerable 
height, for like, "fun", or something.
upon seeing so-called *corduroy wearer* descending on me from 
afore-mentioned considerable height, i "elevated" (you could say) my right 
leg to apprehend said *corduroy wearer*,  and as a result, sustained some 
rather nasty *cord burns*.

i felt it my duty to extend a warning to the kingdom of sinister as i have 
a suspiscion that a number of you may not be practising Safe Corduroy 
Wearing.
look at me, kids.
is this the way you want to end up?
reduced to 10 days (at *least*) of baggy trouser wearing to hide your 
injuries?
no. i thought not.

MEANWHILE........

our office photocopier maintenance chappie thinks im a bit of a Pervy Lady.
the photocopier is beside my desk, you see, and my desk (for reasons which 
i have never been able to fathom -  i was "re-located" there just weeks 
after the commencement of my employment......) is way, way down the back of 
the office in a secluded corner.
when the photcopier guy came in on friday afternoon, i was playing Barry 
White very loudly. he looked a little embarrassed at Barry's saucy 
ramblings but i didn't think anything of it.

unfortunatley for him though, he had to come back again today.
today, i was playing this great cd called "Divas Exotica" which is 
basically just all these old birds singing saucy tunes of yore.
so there he was, fiddling with his cartridge, while i was blasting out such 
gems as Josepine Bakers "dont touch my tomatoes"*, April Long heavy 
breathing her way through "teach me tiGRRRRRR" and brigitte bardot singing 
about....... well, i dont know what it was about cos it was in french, but 
i'd bet my last slice of dairylea it was something rude, so i would.
i couldnt turn it off either, cos that would have been like *acknowledging* 
both our embarrassment.
Gawd.

snow patrol played in dublin on friday.  i went to the gig alright, but 
didnt actually stay for the snow patrol part.
i wasn't feeling R!O!C!K! enough, i suppose.

smell ya later,

paula cullen booze explosion
booooze!!!! yeeeaaahh!!!
"getting beer poured over your head isn't necessarily a bad thing.
it's cold, it's good for your hair, and it makes you smell like a champ."

* i get the impression , she wasn't *really* singing about tomatoes.
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 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+
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 +-+                     "jelly-filled danishes"                   +-+
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