Sinister: Fizz Fizz!

[Sarah Clarke]

Dear all, 

I don't know about any of these evil Natwest child molesting adverts that
Archel talks about, but I can tell you what IS spanking great. It is the Skips
advert. Where a band who are NOT AT ALL based on the Steptacular Steptastic
Steps are playing on a clay tv set, in a clay room, with clay boys watching
them.

ClayBoy! Nude, Live, Amateur Clay!

Nope! My visit home has sadly failed to endow me with any more yumour. Anyways.
The clay band are getting jiggy, and singing a song. The first clay boy says
"Here Alfie, this bands really PANTS", then they eat some skips, and Barry
White starts singing "fizz fizz melt melt fizz fizz melt melt", and it turns
into footie on the TV, and the band DIE.  Its pretty darned ace!

All you people who like Hefner...up against the wall please. No, its not The
Revolution yet, you're not going to be shot or anything... but what the hell do
you see in Hefner apart from mediocre tediousness and complete and utter
boredeom? Its people in London writing songs about going on tube trains every
day - with no magic, no juicy breath-stealing SAUCE, no SAX, and as Iggy (is
that after Ignatius?) Pop said - NO FUN!

Did he *do* No Fun? It must be No Fun being Iggy Pop. It might have been fun
being a Stoodge though. Imagine looking in the mirror each day and being Iggy
Pop. You're probably such a rebel that you'd smash the mirror and then gouge
the spikes of glass into your flesh, the horrible disgusting signifier of
filthy lowdown humanity. Garrr!

Fuckin 'ell, is Gregorys Girl a rare film in America? Not seen it myself. I
expect it'll happen one of these days. But most kids in the UK see that film at
school - when its a rainy break and you can't go outside, so you have to stay
in the classroom, and if you're in the English room where theres a telly, you
get to watch an old musty video they've kept in the back storeroom since 1963.

Pookie, I would send Stuart Murdoch some tomato ketchup. And some bread. And a
pack of sausages, and some oil. So he could fry himself up some sausages and
make a sausage buttie! Of course, he could gril them and then no need for the
oil. But he might use it to rub over his naked body, so it glistens. Ooo. You
can buy popstars anything, its not as if they're going to write and complain
saying "ooh, I actually would've preferred the latest model in baby blue as
opposed to minty mudslide.."...

If Stuart Murdoch understands girls so well, why does he write about girl
problems so much? How come all his birds start partaking of that special sauce
we know only as "gayism"? I think Stuart is a boy, with a triangular face. I
don't know! I don't know Stuart! He's a veritable stranger. I fell in loove
with a beautiful stranger....and then started wiggling my bum cheeks in his
face, in a car. Sorry, thats a Madonna video and not my life. By the way, the
book "Does my bum look big in this", by Arabella Weir is PANTS. Don't bother
reading it.

Fizz fizz melt melt, 
Love Starry Sarah
xx



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