No subject
Honey
honey at xxx.net
Mon Oct 4 23:13:06 BST 1999
Here's Mr Tim Hopkins competition rules, as promised, that he wrote
with his own hands. Good luck.
Honey In The Lab xxx
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The Looper Profanathon
Here are the rules:
1. The object of the game is to come up with the funniest and crudest Belle
and Sebastian-related piece of profanity, as adjudged by me, Hopkins of
this parish.
2. Players may submit one or more profane words or phrases via Honey's
clever voting machine, as previously seen on "Barbarella". You do
this by mailing "honey at majordomo.net" with just the word "Competition"
in the subject of the email. Any variation on this won't get caught
and you won't be entered (it's automatic), so watch your fingers.
DON'T send entries to the list!
3. The profanities will be judged on three criteria:
3.1 Belle and Sebastian-ness
3.2 Humour quotient
3.3 Cussability (that is to say the viability of the profanity as a cuss
word)
3.4 Examples (with thanks to Mister C. Leonard)
3.4.1 "Ya wee shite" scores high on the cussability count, fails in terms
of humour and scores poorly on B&S relatedness. Ditto "Pastel"
3.4.2 "I weally weally wuv woo" is funny(ish) and mildly B&S related but
has little or no cussability
3.4.3 "Struan" is not funny, is very B&S related and could be cussable at a
pinch
4. Entries need not be, or have any direct relation to, existing profanities
or cusses. They should, however, be viable cusses.
5. B&S relation can consist of references to members, songs, albums or other
products of the moderately popular beat combo Belle and Sebastian. Also
allowed are references to past exploits of the Sinister list. If I know what
you are on about.
6. Entries will be disqualified if they offend the judging panel by virtue
of (real or perceived) sexism, racism, or offensiveness towards creed or
religion. Bodily functions are encouraged, however.
7. The winning entry will be publicised to the list if it is funny enough,
and the winner will be furnished with a spanking new copy of Stuart David's
much sought-after tome. I will try to prevail upon Honey to come up with
prizes for the runners-up. I wouldn't hold my breath though.
8. Judging will take place on the 15th October.
9. The judges decision is final. No appeals are permitted, except sex
appeals, and those are to be submitted to the List Owner, who likes that
kind of thing.
10. No cash alternative to the prize is offered. I mean, as if.
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