Sinister: small willy style

[Joss Moorkens]

Aiight, homies.
In the style of Dr Pants:

BELLE AND SEBASTIAN
Don't think I've ever mentioned them much before, but Robin Stout's talk of
TV's obsession with sex and violence made me think. I reckon part of what I
like about B&S is the... umm... innocence of the songs. It feels like some
respite from the world of sex and violence flung at us from most other forms
of media. I mean.... I imagine Struan's idea of 'a dirty weekend' in Seeing
Other People involves going rock climbing and getting your cuffs a little
muddy. I can see how this little world could be a little cloying for some,
like Mr Hefner, but maybe he just isn't as naive as me. Of course, I do
swear like a navvy, but hey... I'm a victim too. Can anyone tell me what a
navvy is? 
The latest outlet for my swearing is:

THE ALL NEW TERRY AND JUNE SHOW
I've decided to cash in on the fact that alternative comedy means cussing a
lot by writing an updated version of Terry and June for Channel 4 or another
miscellaneous fringe channel. Current episodes in the pipeline are Terry
Suffers From Tourette's Syndrome, June's Herpes, Terry's Warts and June
Comes Out. The last one features a top notch lesbian lovefest as the show's
climax. So to speak. I feel a winner coming on.... 
June Whitfield hasn't been returning my calls, but Terry came on board after
I agreed to pay him a tenner and a pack of fags per episode. 

THE POETRY PARROT
As you will have gleaned by now, I am not the most literate gentleman in our
illustrious clan. Therefore, I accepted the help of one Amanda Bergman in
providing you with your parroty poem. Props to Genevieve's washing line for
sending the fellow my way:

Destroying Beauty

a rose
red sunlight:
I take it apart
in the garage
like a puzzle:
the petals are as greasy
as old bacon
and fall
like the maidens of the world
backs to floor
and I look up
at the old calendar
hung from a nail
and touch
my wrinkled face
and smile
because
the secret
is beyond me.  

That was written by the late, alcoholic and antisocial Mr Charles Bukowski.
On which subject, may I quote Megan's Sinister Manifesto: "proclaiming joss
as the mighty king of the party to which there is no end." Ooo. I've never
been called mighty before. Unfortunately, the party I dragged some sinisters
to recently was far from mighty, so they might just disagree with you there,
Megan. Charmed, though.
Lucky charms to Birthday Tim (your Zappa LP is in the post, hippyboy),
moving EA & John and Emma WarranderJohn.

COWS
Throw some cows for me. http://www.mediafarm.no/forsoksgard/kukaster.asp
love
yerpointlessunclejoss xx

PS. I now command the parrot to poo upon.... Ms Giita. 
Yes yes, I know....
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