Sinister: Miserable? Moi?

[Alder, Lucy]

Well, first of all, I'm not a sad cow anymore.  I've spent 5 days enjoying
the delights of northern Italy and have returned with new clothes and
perfume, a stash of Diana cigarettes (blue ones for the royal connection)
and a much happier heart.  So sorry for boring you all before, but I'm back
to my old juicy self and promise never to darken your inbox with stress and
misery again.

Have you ever tried starving yourself of music?  It's fab.  I didn't listen
to anything while I was in Italy, then put Tigermilk on as soon as I got in
and it was twice as good as usual (which is really saying something, is it
not?).  I am also listening to a lot of music with handclaps at the moment -
in my (oh so humble) opinion, a song with handclaps in it is as catchy as
crabs.  And they general make your toes tingle and twitch and itch to dance.
My current fave is Needle in a Haystack (as in finding a good man is...).
Just realised that parentheses must be as catchy as crabs because I've
obviously caught brackets off somebody on this list.  Better than rickets I
suppose.  But you can't catch rickets because it's caused by vitamin
deficiency or something.  

Anyway, I think in the middle of all that I mentioned a top soul tune, so
speaking of that, who was listening to John Peel last night?  I scrabbled
around and couldn't find a pen to write down the name of that corking soul
tune he played.  Can anyone help?  I want to add it to my Records Wanted
list for next time I go soul shoppin'.  Hmmm... a Records Wanted list - who
was it that decreed that girls can't be trainspotterish?  Actually, I've had
enough of the girls like this and boys like that argument.  That whinger in
the guardian reckoned it was girls who voted for Angels 2nd best lyric -
rot!  I know as many boys who like that song as girls who do.  And it was
written by a boy too.  And I like being trainspotterish about records and I
love football (yes, indeed, a lover of football can also love Woking
Football Club).  So there!

And talking of football, my team in Italy, Atalanta, has signed Caniggia (a
legend, non-footie fans).  My friend Roby taught me the song they sing for
him, which involves spurious references to sacks of South American powders.
But I was drunk at the time and can't remember it in Italian, let alone
attempt a translation.

Drunken Kerry wrote:

i said i wanted to boff one of his friends

Blimey!  Does it mean shag?  When I heard the word boff at school, I thought
they were taking the piss because I got my homework done on time.  If only
I'd known.

And then Mark C wrote

I also find the expression "having sex" sounds faintly unpleasant because of
the connotation I lumber it with that it's a 100% physical, 0% emotional
act.

But surely it's preferable to "making love", which has a yuckfactor of
Michael Boltonesque proportions.  As opposed to my favourite old chestnut,
"shagging", which is just great.

Goodness gracious, what a lot of smut.

Juicy Lucy

 
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