Sinister: Terminator Roolz speaks with his hands

[Robert McTaggart]

Hello Little Ones,

What a thrilling week it's been.  I was overjoyed to read Nick's
updates on the new found celebrity status of Sinister's answer to
Garry Bushell, Stephen "Column Inches" Trousers.  What a woolly bloody
liberal you are, Trousers, talking to the Independent.  Or did you
just think that the Indie was a fanzine?  Personally, I only give
interviews to "Living Marxism", "Hustler" and "Country Life".  It's
the perfect balance.  Oh, and Trousers....where's my sodding
"Papercuts"?

Aside from Poetic of Rotherhithe, I'm pleased to see quite a few other
bids for stardom from our little group.  We already know about Funky
Seb interpreting Moby via the medium of dance, and are relishing Keef
and Klur's reinvention as Mr and Mrs Stringfellow.  But how many
noticed the fragrant Miss Wumpkinny totally upstaging Kirtsy Young on
last week's "Stars in their Eyes" Celebrity Final, with her "Britney
Spears unplugged" routine?  It really happened, apart from the Britney
Spears bit.

Talking of Britney, which I was and you all should be, I was late for
work this morning, so engrossed was I by Zoe Ball's interview with the
Thinking Man's Isobel Campbell herself.  She said very flattering
things about boys with ginger hair, so I reckon she fancies me.  The
Britney-Wump connection continued when Ms Spears revealed that her
birthday is just one day after my live-in lover's, so I think we
should have a great big party in their honour.

Oh yes, the Ambrosia ad.  Is that Tim Hopkins riding a moo-cow from
London to his native Devon?  And is that Andy Dean and Steady Mike
disguised as the Village People in the background?  And do Tim's
fellow Devonians, Adrian Evans and Piezo Erotic Unit, really "like it
with their oats on top"?  I think they do.

I am now the proud owner of my very own Pissing Boy, courtesy of
Madame Oon and her exotic palace of soul.  Thank you very much, Madame
Oon, bathtime is even more fun than usual, even though Pissing Boy's,
shall we say,"Yul Bryner" is giving me an inferiority complex.

Can someone explain to me why that Maria Carey video features an old
lady sitting on the toilet with her panteloonies round her ankles?

It's good to see "Gregory's Two Girls" getting good reviews.  I was a
Doubting Tag when I first heard about it, but now I'm full of hope
that this could be a "Stolen Kisses" to "Gregory's Girl"'s "Les quatre
cents coups".  Apparently, only two of the original cast are in the
new one.  One is obviously Gregory, so if there is a god, please
please please let the other one be Phil Menzies.  At this week's
meeting of the South Manchester Sinisterines DIY Society, Warrander
John and myself decided that we would happily kill for a copy of the
"Gregory's Girl" endearingly Eighties soundtrack.  So if you have such
a copy, send it to me this instant or you die.

That's your lot.  Just be grateful I speak to you at all.

Love tag xx
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