Sinister: hack hack, wheeze wheeze

[kerry]

belle and sebastian content:
i walked in to the student store today and heard tigermilk playing. i go to
buy cough drops and ask the girl behind the counter who chose the music.
she says "it's belle and sebastian." i say "i'm well aware of that. i was
asking who chose it." she gave me a blank stare and asked me for 75 cents
for the cough drops. i gave her a dollar, she gave me a quarter. i left.

so any potential romance between that boy seth and i has popped, fizzed,
and died a horrible death since friday night when we kissed etc. he kind of
blew me off on saturday, but i'm still not sure if it's in response to me
abruptly leaving him earlier that night. he left first, tho. i just decided
not to stay and went home. when i saw him later he asked me where i'd gone.
i told him home. he spent the rest of the night avoiding me and flirting
with some girl. and staring at me while i was dancing. so i don't know what
all that means. tho i'm sick of dealing with it, so he has to make a move
this time. i'm not putting myself out like that again.

and he gave me a wicked nasty chest cold. that's why i'm hacking and
wheezing like that. i had an oral exam today and my throat hurt so much i
could barely get the words out, so there i was sucking on ricola and
gesturing wildly as my professor asks me about cadherins sea urchin
gastrulation.
hope i didn't fail.

i bought a new cordless phone. it looks like a grape imac. it's faux imac,
of course. but it's awfully silent. so the braver of you may feel free to
call me. (413)559-4850. that's a US phone number, btw.

so i was a bit sad about seth for, um, about a day. then i realized it
sucked that nothing really happened, but it wasn't like i was head over
heels in love with the guy. now i'm just focusing on damage control so when
our mutual friend comes back this spring things aren't weird. i still
haven't decided if i'm going to tell her what happened between me and seth.
maybe i will if something more happens. since it probably won't, i'll stop
worrying about it.

but that's enough of that. i'm sad to admit i haven't been reading all your
posts very thoroughly lately -- i've been drinking heavily. a friend of
mine had some very good news yesterday (he is indeed going to graduate this
december) so he bought three bottles of champagne and i drank pretty much
all of them. starting at 4pm and ending at somewhere around 11pm. so i
didn't do much other than sit around and giggle all night. which is part of
why my throat hurts so much now. that and the coughing fits i was having
last night when i was trying to sleep. i kept drifting, and just before
sleep came, i'd sit bolt upright and cough until my eyes started watering.
feels like my lungs are full of elmer's glue. well, i guess they sort of
are, seeing how gluey mucus is and all.

and now my head hurts and i think i may be about to pass out, and since i
need to finish my grant proposal tonight, i'll shut up now.

if you've read this far, that's really nice. thank you.

-kerry
"this blue's a swirling ocean / the green, the ambition / the red is the
guilt. / there's a lot of red."
	-tindersticks, "patchwork"
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