Sinister: All the leaves are brown, and the sky is grey...

[Alasdair Cook MC1996]

And there's nothing wrong with that. What was that fat woman complaining
about? Autumn is nice, isn't it? It's a little bit summer, a little bit
winter, a little bit country, a little bit German existential pop. 

Sorry I knocked the little arsonist on her ass. Don't play with fire,
children. Use it to burn buildings down instead, and ward off dangerous
animals like Tim Hopkins.

Here we go...

Hooperman:
>  I too make passes at girls who were glasses. 

I once knew a girl who was glasses, but she was always making a
spectacle of herself and once tried to frame me. Luckily, though,
everyone could see right through her.

Arms of strength/sex:

> according to Family Fortunes on Saturday, everyone swallows 6 spiders a
> night. 

Which is rubbish, I think. I read that the average person swallows about
10 spiders while asleep in their whole life. But why was that woman
taping her mouth closed? Spider's are an excellent source of protein,
aren't they? Fool.

> Family no. 1 went home with £72 between them.  Hardly worth the humiliation.

I'm ritually humiliated and kicked in by the Milngavie ladies over 75s
bowls team every saturday afternoon, and no-one's ever given me 72 quid
for the priviledge. Or anything, come to think of it. Except that pair
of false teeth.

Sweetie:

> when r looper going to one of the virgins in glasgow? and what one will it
> be?

Been and gone I'm afraid. Last saturday, Argyle street.

Craig:

> Also today saw the official launch of my new game "Star's on Your Tube".

Best keep her away from that emergency cord then. Train drivers can get
most upset, so I've heard.

Paul:

> And yes, I am well aware of how ridiculous that sounds.
> And yes, I agree people do not fall in love within 12 days of meeting, not
> outside of Hollywood anyway.

I know someone who says he fell in love in 2 hours, so perhaps it's not
as silly as you may think. And the head's overrated anyway, go with the
heart.

Peter:
> Trousers, have you been using Mark Casarotto's chat-up lines?

No, I think Stevie has a few years to go before he can use that old
"bald men are more verlie, you know" line.

I'm going to see Blair Witch tonight, at the special late showing.
Woooo! (ghost noises etc). I read in the paper today that it's rubbish,
but we shall see.

Oh, and finally Archel:

i've just had some very... interesting photos
> developed.  they feature a 
> shopping trolley, a mirror ball and several
> sinisterines......... watch this 
> space.

Oh dear.

As Porky Pig used to say, ththththat's a wrap. 

Love,
Alasdair xx
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