Sinister: outpouring my soul

[MBBX9FF2]

-
hey kids,
           not been able to post for a few days, as i went home for 
the weekend and its taken me this long to read through everything you 
guys have written, but i wouldn't have thought you missed me too much.

    i'm troubled today as i do actually have some bad stuff that 
happened in my life i need to share with someone and i did think that 
the list would be my forum, but now that so many people have 
complained about being forced to be agony aunts/uncles i'm a little 
more reluctant.

    bugger it, i'm going to tell you anyway, its not that traumatic 
and you don't have to read this bit if you don't want to.

    friday night:- i got dumped

    thats it, in simple terms, but, of course nothing is ever as 
simple as that, we had only been going out for about a month, but as 
has been discussed before you can very attatched to someone in much 
less time than that.
    the thing is, we get on really, really well and have the sort of 
stuff in common that makes you think, shit, i could spend a long time 
with this person. in addition, there is an immense physical 
attraction, despite the fact that he isn't my type at all (he doesn't 
have nearly a good enough haircut)
    to my mind, logically, all the evidence points to us being 
together, but according to him, apparently not. the most annoying 
thing being that i can actually see the points he has to make about 
why we shouldn't go out with each other, namely that
  1) we've both just started university and its all happened so 
quickly that we really should settle down first before embarking on a 
serious relationship
  2) its only a matter of weeks since he split up with his girlfriend 
of three (THREE!!) years and all this is far too weird
  3)he claims that i like him more than he could ever like me because 
his mind works too logically and he can never fall in love with 
anyone, particularly because it would get in the way of his band

    well, fuck that, (sorry i am a foul-mouthed bint when i'm 
emotional) look at me i've just outlined my inner turmoil in 
bullet-points, and he thinks he's more detached than me!!!

    anyway, i had a chat with him yesterday, during which we both had 
to fight very hard to resist getting off with each other, and we're 
going to be friends with the possibility of casual sex later when 
we're not too attatched to one another. i tried to explain to him 
that could never quite work because of how desperately lonely i get 
when i'm on my own (i know thats sad, but thats another issue), but 
he reckons that i can still have him for companionship and occasional 
physical fulfilment, although technically we won't be going out.

    i am very confused.

    you all have my sincerest apologies for this post, i was just 
hoping that someone out there might understand or have some advice or 
even be able to fill the void.


    b+s content
    i passed on a tape of tigermilk and sinister today to someone who 
i think will appreciate it - the conversion continues.



        stay beautiful,    fiona



******there is no true love, just a finely tuned jealousy*****

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