Sinister: as whinge as they wanna be

Kurtis, Elizabeth Elizabeth.Kurtis at xxx.com
Wed Oct 27 14:51:04 BST 1999


> Hola all you witches and goblins,
> 
> Brandt woke up and said:
> 
> >It's been a bad day and I'm determined to make it worse.
> 
> Well that's a good start... 
> 
> >Anyone need an agony uncle but you don't want to annoy that ultra hipster
> >belle and sebastian fan on the go? Feel free to write me and we'll chat.
> >I wouldn't mind getting to know some of the sinister kids out there.
> 
> >Honestly though, they have a good point. This list grows every day with
> >new people graduating from the nursery.  Personal lives tend to be
> >repetitive and mundane, mine included. However, I would like to point out
> >that apart from Tag, most everyone who bitched was being rude. So shame
> on
> >you (I'm sure I'll get flamed for this, probably by the same people who
> >don't have the time to be bothered to read about others personal lives.
> >Whatever.)
> 
> >I won't bring up my family problems on the list anymore.  When my gran
> >dies, I don't want to not be entertaining, so I'll just take a few days
> >off so those of you out there who don't want to be bother won't be
> >bothered.
> 
> If anything's rude, it's your little guilt trip right there. You can't
> send extensive diary-like posts asking for sympathy from 1000+ people,
> most of whom don't know you, impose on them to FEEL for you and then turn
> around and tell those who complain that they're being insensitive and
> don't care if your gran dies.  
> 
> Accusing people of being ultra-hipsters for suggesting that this is not an
> appropriate place for these sorts of posts is a low blow as well, and just
> seems like a knee-jerk reaction.
> 
> Like someone else mentioned, if I have personal problems I only tell them
> to people who I know. Most of whom are on email actually.  Even if we
> could say that 'People on this list like B&S and therefore they will
> understand me', would you randomly approach people at a B&S gig and start
> rambling on about things beyond 'this song is great' and 'so you like
> corona too'? (if you did, they would probably run and hide!) But then
> again, at a gig there is opportunity to be introduced or to meet people,
> and then you become friends. And THEN you progress to the stage where you
> can let them know all about yourself, warts and all. And I think that even
> though a mailing list is a unique social phenomenen of its own, that sort
> of thinking would be useful here as well. You get to know certain people
> on the list, or in chat, and then the relationship develops and you create
> your own little sub-lists that extend beyond. 
> 
> The fact that the relative anonymity of the list makes it therapeutic to a
> few people isn't really productive on a whole. It sounds like for someone
> like Jason, he gets a real buzz off the random mails he *might* receive
> from his posts, but that's not a justification is it? Saying 'you can
> delete it if you want to' seems to be a lazy excuse too.
> 
> As I suggested before, it seems far more logical to mail a group of people
> who you already know from email and chat, or where ever, and that way a)
> you're more likely to get the kind of soothing responses you want and b)
> you won't get irritated responses that will annoy you. 
> 
> If your friends are crap, why are you calling them friends? I'm sorry, but
> expecting an entire mailing list to be a surrogate is unrealistic.   
> 
> And just because B&S are at a bit of a stand-still, it doesn't mean that
> there's nothing to talk about. Amuse and above all, inform! Tell us about
> books, gigs, films, the time you heard b&s in a supermarket...I see plenty
> of people posting every day about these sorts of things. If you're so
> gosh-darned lonely, organize a Sinister bowling match and tell us all
> about it! If no one is exactly close by, buy a bus ticket or drive! In my
> entire life in my hometown, barely ever did I have friends who lived
> anywhere near me. Get off your butt and make an effort, don't just
> complain. I used to sell off my record collection or work overtime to pay
> for a bus ticket to New York. Or stay up until 4 am finishing assignments
> for college so that I could work nights and pay for flights to see my b&s
> sweetie. Many of us have moved our worldly possessions thousands of miles
> to stop being lonely. Anything is possible! 
> 
> That to me is productive caring and sharing, if you have to call it that.
> Don't be a snore!
> 
> love,
> elisabeth
> 
> 
> 
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