Sinister: let me in, it's cold outside

[Archel1978 at xxx.com]

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i originally sent this message yesterday, but i'm egotistical enough to think 
that it warranted retrieving from my sentmail to post again.  things to add 
though: what a lovely thing by chris and struan!  i'm so looking forward to 
hearing more about richard's 'celebrity lifestyle' - what next, exclusive 
pictures of him on the arm of anna friel?  (who, by the way, was asked out by 
one of my best friends while they were growing up together in oldham.  she 
said no.)  and as for struan offering advice on how to be a student, i just 
wish he'd been a year earlier...
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oh, the irony.  i return, and the list is silenced.  so who knows if anyone 
will read this.  but hey, recently i've got unpleasantly used to walking in 
in the middle of tense situations, mostly caused by me.

it would be nice if i could just breeze back into sinisterworld and instantly 
lift everyone's spirits with wit and sweetness.  (i wasn't joking about being 
egotistical.)  but any attempt at those things is rather hindered by a) 
becoming newly single (last week) and b) returning to the ranks of the 
unemployed (next week).  

q. why do writers never look out the window in the morning?
a. because then they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon.

i have decided to restyle myself from being just a lazy graduate to being a 
lazy writer.  you still do nothing, but it's a higher class of nothing.  
there's a poem by miroslav holub about being a poet, it's a kind of socratic 
dialogue in fact, which comes to the rather harsh conclusion that you're only 
a poet when you're actually physically writing a poem.  at least, if i 
understood it right.  god knows what you are the rest of the time then, a 
literal non-entity i suppose.  still, i'd rather be that than a management 
consultant.

adverts keep extorting me to enter the 'dynamic world of media sales'.  i 
used to think this meant doing a paper round, but now i suspect it's 
something even less fulfilling.

b&s content: i was listening to TBWTAS on my walkman the other day when the 
batteries started to run down in the middle of 'is it wicked'.  instant 
improvement!  it was sombre and moving, and isobel sounded like helen shapiro 
instead of an asthmatic on helium.

i finally bought 'breaking god's heart' yesterday - retail therapy has never 
been so productive.  so i have *something* to thank my ex for, i suppose.

next week is my last in london, for the moment at least, so if anyone wants 
to meet up please get in touch.

all my love (no longer any left for a certain boy living in the north of 
england, where i hope he perishes at the beaks of the york university geese 
(who are on my side since i promised to bring them south before the summer 
cull begins).  did i say that?  i meant 'let's still be friends', 
obviously...)

archel xxx 

*********
Rachel Playforth
archel at iname.com
0181 480 7367 / 01323 893 624
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