Sinister: music to watch kittens by

[Kevan Cooke]

hello folks

i watched a bond film on telly, as is traditional on bank holiday
weekends.  the love interest in the film was a blonde cellist.
this poor girl spent the film having to dodge both the lusty
advances of bond and a hail of bullets from various villainous
sorts, such was the range of passions she evoked in people.

i have spent much time over the last two weeks watching next door's
kitten chasing butterflies in our garden, but this bid for tweeness
went horribly wrong at the weekend when it finally caught one and
started chewing with legs and wings and antennae sticking out of it's
mouth.

it has also decided that the large pile of sand and gravel that the
useless builders left in the garden is a great place to have a shit.

i have come to the conclusion that kittens are not twee after all,
and have reverted to feeding the ducks.

my dad actually phoned me to tell me that they were playing "the
stars of track and field they are", bless him.  it's got to better
than "gold" by spandau ballet which they used for bloody years.

those two modern day evils, pop music and television, will be
coinciding once again tonight in "celebrity stars in their eyes".
i suspect that anyone involved in the making of such a show would
feel compulsed to leave the country in shame, possibly under the
guise of a trip to toronto.

stevie jackson would be a deep fried mars bar, obviously.

kevan


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