Sinister: 995

[Starry]

Hello then, 

I got spanking new trainers yesterday! They're great. Then again I would
appreciate any form of trainer which didn't squeak on the same volume as
a hideously mutated over-sized rat called That Mariah Carey Woman each
time I took a step. Oh yes for years I have suffered in bloody squeaky
addidas gazelles, but no longer! I have thrown them out!! My trainer
footware no longer will let me down :)

Jim Taylor mentioned about Stevie Jackson and Peanut M'N'M's. Bloody
hell thats strangely hard to type. Please don't mention Stevie Jackson
and NUTS again please. I might get far too overheated.... Minx magazine
reckons that to spice up your sex life you should roll m'n'm's all over
your body. With a partner of course. And other sticky stuff like that.
AND TOUNGUES! Did you sister read the same article Jim?

And I am I the only one not doing a tape for Antje?

Piezoelectric Unit! Give my affections to the Duke, would he be there of
course. Does the Duke know anything about The Chesterfields? As I don't.
I only know that they've got a stupid name and one of their albums is
called The Kettle. Thanks for telling me that Tim. I still remember it.
As I remember everything you say. Unless its about Pharcyde, cos I've
already forgotten what album you said I should get.

Archel, Ronan Keating is an ugly bastard. I'm sorry, but he IS! Look at
that FACE of his. It's not right. I always had a soft spot for Monkey
Chops Stephen Gately, as Smash Hits always referred to him. Stands to
reason he's gay. But then again Ronan is better looking than Shane and
Mikey. Is there another Boyzone member called Keith? We have a Sinister
Keith too. I bet they are both the same. There's no way I would know of
TWO seperate Keiths. I mean is this Eerie Indiana or what?

I'm going to Kingston university Marcus. Obviously its not a patch on
Cambridge, but hey. I'm nervous of this freshers week thing too, as I'm
only a little northern lass and I'll be a long way from home. And all
alone. In Surrey. Hooray. So I'll be a little lost and lonely too. I'm
sure there will be other lost and lonely people too, and we can find
them and sit in the lost and lonely corner with gin and lemonade. Or
vodka and lime. Or beer. Or wine. Or stout.

Speaking of which....(seamless link coming up!), Robin Stout (heyhey!)
wrote about Richard Colburn writing songs on the new B&S record. DOES
Richard write any songs? I quite like Richard. I remember almost bumping
into him carrying a carrier bag full of alphabetti spaghetti (maybe).
And I remember thinking, "Now there's a man who knows his carrier bag
technique." Its a little known fact that from the way a man carries a
carrier bag, you can tell when he'd be like when carrying his handbag.
Would he want to carry a handbag of course. And I managed to deduce that
Richard would be one of those saucy temptresses who swing their hips
sultrily in order to attract any passers-by with their sexy handbag
skeelz. If they didn't have any dyke skeez handy, of course. Dyke Skeez.
They aren't only a valuable ski-ing aid, but handy in the old pullage
stakes as well.

And Isobel is too crap to carry a handbag. Instead she should choose a
nice brown paper bag. And put it over her head. Then again, there's not
really much point in that is there, with her being an old bag herself...

Hur Hur I should keep down this level of humour. Really I should.
Sarah 
xx
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