Sinister: Mummy, I'm a wreck...

[Robert McTaggart]

...Yes I am,

After two days abandoned by Wumpkinny, who's run off to Canada to give
a series of would-be suitors (a distant Parisian cousin off the Krays
complete with sovereign rings, a fat Manc in sweaty vest and garish
running shorts at the airport, and worst of all, a clearly undersexed
conspiracy theorist) the slip.  To add insult to injury, she's hidden
the marmite and now I'm reduced to a poor shell of a man.  And the
phone went on the blink last night, so I had to go to the callbox last
night and listen to that woman my Dad used to call Tin Knickers
telling my call would be answered shortly for half an hour until I
gave up, a broken man.  But do you want to hear my tales of woe?  Of
course you don't, and I don't blame you.

By some weird telekinetic coincidence I was, like Peter Miller, also
wondering whether people go on about how drunk they've been to cover
up who they've been snogging.  You don't need to be so ashamed, love
comes in all forms and in the most unlikely situations.  So tell us
all, don't be shy.

Bug, you should dump him.  I'm sorry, I know you said we shouldn't
tell you that, but you should.  Be strong, as strong as a woman.  But
never mind that...did you see Kevin Rowland at Reading?  Was it as
funny as it sounded, because it sounded really, really very funny.  He
was interviewed in "Uncute" this month and the poor soul clearly
doesn't know what day of the week it is.

I didn't buy any records in Paris, because every shopkeeper in Paris
had gone on holiday.  I did go into a bar that had a little toy train
going from between the men's and ladies toilets.  I wonder if this is
so that prospective lovers can pass little billet doux from one
cubicle to the other while they poo.  I do hope so.  And we met
someone who knew Thim when he was just a wee bairn in a school blazer.
My lips are sealed, but I do accept bribes.

Time for my gruel.

Love tag xx
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 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+
 +-+  "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+
 +-+                     "jelly-filled danishes"                   +-+
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