Sinister: "i didn't mean to fall in love w/ you..oh baby but i just did"

[bUgleT]

dear all..

tag said:
>Bug, you should dump him.  I'm sorry, I know you said we shouldn't
>tell you that, but you should.  Be strong, as strong as a woman.

too late. the day after i posted the message [ie. thursday], i went to the
jericho and he was there. i asked him if he would mind stepping outside for
a minute to talk, and he agreed. so, we went and sat in the car park [well,
i sat and he leant against a wall, but he ended up sitting], and i asked
him what the fuck was going on. he then proceeded to tell me that he really
couldn't be arsed to go out with me anymore, and spouted a whole load of
bullshit about how he made all the effort and i didn't even show him that i
cared etc etc etc. he also had a go at me about how he got really pissed
off that one of my best friends [james] was always hanging around. i
pointed out that this was because he was my best friend, but he just gave
me a real evil and said "yeah, but he so blatantly fancies you". and then
he told me that if i didn't stop making these mistakes [ie. alledgedly not
caring and being around one of my best friends] then i'd never be able to
hold on to anyone for more than a month or two. and he also said that he
really didn't think we should stop talking over this, and then totally
ignored me for the rest of the night. which was nice of him. 

i just got back from witney - playing a gig that he arranged supporting his
band, stars of track and field. that was interesting. we [moonkat] played a
very new song, written about four days ago about him......very obviously
about him as well. and it had the words "love"  and "baby" in it [see
subject to this message]. hmmm. cassie said i was extremely brave to sing
it seeing as everyone there were his friends. he was very sweet to me
before we went onstage and asked me if i was ok, but then he ignored me
again all night as soon as we finished playing. i hate men. i really do.

i'm in a very bad mood. i don't think i've ever been so angry as i was
onstage tonight. spitting hatred into the microphone ["you jerk you dick
you fucking whore" - different song but he inspired tonight's performance
of it]. 

but i still want him back. 

bollox.

anyway, sorry..just had to get it all out of my system again..

tag, i saw about one minute of kevin rowland before we ran off in disgust
to watch les rythmes digitales. they were very kool. i did see kevin's
pervy dancers though. not nice.

ok, i'm off to watch shitty stuff like 'friends' so i can shout abuse at
the tv for their fake happy lives. life is krap - they know not of what
they speak.

apologies for any spelling/grammar mistakes in this - i've had rather a lot
of vodka.....

love you all
*bug*

i'll regret this in the morning....






___________________________________________

***the tiny zine on the net***
http://ds.dial.pipex.com/sage/tartrazine

***and the best band in oxford***

http://www.sage.dial.pipex.com/moonkat/
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