Sinister: zen and the art of booze management

[Marcus Omond]

oh dear oh dear oh dear

you know, chaps, SOMEONE out there really should teach me the art of pacing 
myself... i mean, it'd be rather impressive if one picnic i could actually 
get to the pub before either passing out or throwing up everywhere...

anyway, for all you poor listees who missed yet another lovely picnic, 
here's what happened (as far as i can remember).  this gathering was much 
smaller than the usual london picnics, and i brought a pretty  picnic virgin 
along - the less beautiful of the two cypriot listees, master alex runchman. 
  unfortunately the prettiest cypriot listee was still in cyprus, which was 
a pity.  her absence was much lamented...

anyway, poor erica, the most prettiest girl on sinister (officially) was 
there, and she had injured one of her two heavenly legs by falling down an 
escalator chasing tim baxendale.  in fact, she was so injured that i was 
shockingly unable to tempt her with my gallons of alcohol due to painkiller 
consumption.  all the more for me then...

lovely debbie arrived a little later, and said that she was going back to 
canada on tuesday, which is a pity, as she's made the summer rather 
enjoyable for some... come back next year, debbie dear, and we'll all get 
drunk (again).

geoff was resplendant as ever.  he turned up striding across the hill in a 
pale blue suit (i'm not allowed to say it was grey - he got insulted by 
that) and the loveliest pair of cufflinks.  oh, and a big bag of gin and 
lemonade, which was welcomed with almost as much enthusiasm as geoff's own 
arrival.  geoffrey is so smart and sophisticated - look at his picture on 
the pictures page... he really dresses like that, you know.  meeting geoff 
is like seeing for a moment how the other half lives... ;)

anyway, football was played, and as there were only eight participants 
everyone got rather tired rather quickly - i'm sure that's what did for me - 
it was the dehydration from running too much during the football rather than 
the equivalent of twelve pints of booze in various forms and rather too much 
dope.  to refresh myself a little after the football was over, i concocted a 
drink.  this one was not so successful in charming the ladies as my last 
one, and i've called it the 'vomit inducer'.  it involved a mixture of gin, 
cypriot brandy, lemonade, wine (both colours, i believe), cranberry juice, 
the dregs from all of david kitchen's various interesting alcoholic 
beverages all topped up with about a pint of luke warm lager.  top.  um, i 
can't actually remember if anyone else was stupid enough to imbibe the 
divine elixir, so if you had some too, please let me know what it tasted 
like... probably pretty much like what it tasted of on the way back up, i 
imagine...

anyway, to cut a long story short, it's a long walk home, especially if you 
throw up all over yourself and the pub next door to the record shop where 
you're going to buy all the new releases come monday.  i think it took alex 
and i about three hours to get me from primrose hill to west hampstead, 
which is rather impressive...

i can fully assure everyone that our chalet at bowlie two is going to be the 
drunkest.  two of my chalet mates, drunken matt and meran, both put in a 
stunning performance in the drinking stakes while at the picnic.  i'm not 
sure quite how conscious they were in the end, but they didn't seem that 
much in a better state than i was...

anyway, that's about all the news from this little drunken corner of london 
town.  like i said, if anyone can teach me how not to get SSSOOO drunk so 
quickly, the help would be much appreciated ;)

anyway, i'm off to listen to once around the block yet another time - rather 
good, isn't it.  but not as good as alix's lovely tape (now brandy flavour 
:) ),

anyway, i'll see y'all at a pub very near where master dastoor works in the 
near future,

love

Marcus XXX

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