Sinister: the theatre is full - but I AM NOT!!!!!!!

[ian]

hello...
about to rush out to my date with hugh grant, i have my mace, my chastity
belt and my large pointy stick in case of emergencies.  i must keep my
virtue.

anyway, before i rush off...

pete made my head swell:

>The as-ever piss funny Ian

aw cheers.. if i hadn't already used my list-crush vote (twice, i think, by
mistake) you could have it for that.  infact SOMEBODY VOTE FOR THIS
MAN...just because he was nice to me.  that's a good enough reason isn't it?

and then he went on to tell us this:

I shook hands with
>Christopher Timothy (you know, the one of "All Craetures Great and
>Small" fame....) whilst dressed as a bird with "SLUT" written on my
>head in lipstick. And I'm particularly happy to say that he didn't try
>to stick his hand up my arse once. The merest inkling of those
>infamous rubber gloves and I'd have been out of there quick smart, I
>can tell you.


i can beat that.  i once saw christopher timothy having rampant anal sex
with an orang-utan.
's true.  and even if its not, its fun to libel famous people.  let's do it
some more...

i think it may be time for some B&S content...i was listening to "tigermilk"
the other morning, as you do...and was inspired to seek your opinions on a
phrase that has puzzled me for a couple of years since the first time i
heard it:

"lisa met chelsea at the knocking school
chelsea didn't feel like following the rules
and left the place
for another school
where the boys go with boys
and the girls with girls"

hmm... what sort of crazy establishment would this be then?  "no straights
allowed" school?  well, why wasn't i told of this as a teenager?  i'm sure
there wasn't one in lincolnshire.  where the boys go with potatoes, and the
girls...well...i'm not saying....


jeanette said:

>Oh! Do be careful of those rays! According to a press release received
>at our office, the earth will be pounded by "intragalactic raybeams"
>today


well, it didn't seem to happen in wolverhampton.  but i did see a strange
orange tentacled creature creeping round the back of my house.  i just put
it down to all that mouldy cheese i found in the fridge and didn't think i
should have eaten.
so, did the world end for anyone today, as predicted?

it seems to still be going on here.  in its usual silent sort of way.

anyway, me and my point stick are off to see a hollywood megastar.  back
later

love and kisses to all smiley people
ian

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