Sinister: the tears made my makeup run down my face

[Tigerxdare at xxx.com]

 well last night i was going to hang out with my friend bryan, but  we talked 
on the phone at around 7:30 pm, and he said he was going to go to philly 
instead to see reggie and the full effect and rainer maria. so i thought 
about it for a second. by this time i was feeling better, my system free of 
the alcohol and raw brownie batter i had consumed earlier that day. so i said 
that i would go and that i would see him there. i called everyone i thought 
might want to go with me, but i couldnt find a single person. so i went in my 
car drove to the train station and went by myself. i really hate riding the 
train alone at night. by the time i had driven to the train station, waited 
for the train, rode the train and walked to the show it was a little after 9 
pm.on my way there kids were coming in my direction yelling how i just missed 
the surprise guest that night-the get up kids. it figures i would miss them 
even though i really like them and had been really wanting to see them live 
for oh about two years now. well i pay and walk in, and i see my friend joe, 
and we start talking. then a boy i really really cared for and was seeing 
walked in. he looked directly at me, then walked away and completely ignored 
me. this was a boy that i really really liked mind you. i ran up the stairs 
and into a corner where i tried to compose myself, but joe ran after me and 
as soon as he asked what was wrong i started crying. people were giving me 
odd stares at this point, so joe walked me to the store so that i could get 
some cigarettes and calm down without being surrounded by all these others 
kids who who wondering why tears were straming down my face. i couldnt stop 
crying, even in the store as i stood in the checkout line. i said to joe "i 
hate boys, they all break my heart and leave me in tears, i just cant take it 
anymore and i dont even know why i am here, i dont even listen to emo 
anyways, and i hate all these pretensious kids. all i even listen to is belle 
and sebastian anyways, i should have just stayed home." then a boy that was 
standing in front of me in the line turns around and says to me "well if you 
like belle and sebastian you cant be doing too badly" i didnt know what to 
say i just stammered yeah i guess so and he walked away. i walked back to the 
show and joe went and talked to his friends and i walked around by myself. i 
despise the kids that are there, snobs who think it is a fashion show, who 
use the word emo to desribe everything including inamiate objects. they 
disgust me and i was just going to turn around and leave when i see the boy 
who had commented about belle and sebastian. he is sitting on the curb by 
himself smoking, so i walk over to him, sit down and start talking. we had so 
much in common, and he despised the people there as much as i did. it turns 
out he was there alone too, and we spent the whole night at the show together 
talking. he lived in the city, but went and walked me back to the train 
station anyway when it was time to go home. we exvhanged numbers and are 
going to hang out soon. i am happy but it is bittersweet. i am still upset 
about the other boy that set off my tears, but if it had not been for the 
fact that i wa crying and upset and rambling because of him i would not have 
even met this other boy. i dont even know what to think i am trying not to 
have any hopes or expectations, seeing as how i inevitably always get hurt 
and let down. i have also decided that i don't just fancy boys as much 
anymore, i am atttracted to girls too. i had been thinking about that for a 
long time now, and i realized today how i really felt. at this point, i think 
the only person i would want to persue would be a girl....and by the way,.. 
bryan who was the reason i was at the show in the first place never showed 
up... bye sinister darlings.
xoxo,
            lauren
+----------------------------------------------------------------------+
   +---+  Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list  +---+
  To send to the list mail "sinister at majordomo.net". To unsubscribe
   send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
  "majordomo at majordomo.net".  WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+
 +-+  "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+
 +-+                     "jelly-filled danishes"                   +-+
+----------------------------------------------------------------------+