Sinister: When the rain comes they'll hide their heads...they may as well be dead

[Walkn10 at xxx.com]

Hello all,

Not to be a total downer (or to continue the streak of downer messages 
Sinister has produced as of late) but my day was absolute crap and none of my 
friends care too much so I'll quickly and quietly say a few things then go to 
bed or something.
I really can't stand being made the butt of joke after joke, even if the 
jokesters are my friends.  I'm not an overly senstive person I don't think, 
but once I realize I'm being singled out over and over (and thereby 
alienated) I get so pissed off and depressed I'm almost violent.  I'm a 
fairly sarcastic person and for some reason so are most of my friends but I 
just really can't take it for too long for some reason.  I think its because 
it reminds me of when I was alot younger and got picked on regularly for 
being artistic and dramatic and also for being the shortest one of the crowd. 
 The people I clung to for approval totally took advantage of that and pretty 
much made me the self-conscious person that I am today.  They were just evil 
and I see alot of what they did in my friends when they go out of their way 
to piss me off and get a rise out of me or just see how long they can torment 
me before I snap.  I'm not the shortest one in the group anymore and I hang 
out with primarily artistic people but somewhere I must have a huge fucking 
bulls-eye painted on me and everyone seems more than happy to take aim at 
that.  I figured that once I found a group of people who were on my 
wavelength and weren't judgemental that I'd be able to totally relax and be 
myself without fear of retribution but apparently this is not the case.  I'd 
just really like to get an explanation out of some pompous idiots as to why 
this is... 
Ok, I feel much better now that I've said that, though still pretty angry and 
hurt, but I think I may be able to go to sleep now.  Thanks for listening...

Steve C.

PS- Christa, could you please email me 'cause I lost your email address.  
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