Sinister: My Brush With The Law

[William Messent]

Ay up everybody,

TIGERMILKING

Well I wasn't there. And contrary to Arantxa's
suggestion, nor was I larging it in Tuscany or the
Riviera. I was on a 4 day jaunt to Nottingham (the
so-called Robin Hood County, which seems to be getting
more and more exposure on this list. It's the new
Camden Town Tube Station).

RAW LIKE TIMBERLAND WEAR (YEAH)

Ace weekend though. My personal highlight was going to
a party with my policeman friend. It was going well,
people were chatting and drinking and having fun, when
this lad started to skin up right opposite my mate.
And my mate asked him to put it away until he left.
This lad tutted and rolled his eyes, so my friend
explained quite calmly that if he didn't put it away
he would be arrested. And the entire room (bar my
friend and I) promptly got up and left. I pissed
myself laughing for about 20 minutes, then we thought
we'd better leave. So we went to the pub and played
darts. I kicked his arse. The perils of being a copper
I suppose (the unpopularity, not the darts).

LIKE A TERRORIST HARD TO CAPTURE

It *was* funny though. And I was proud of him really,
even if he did effectively make us both social lepers.
What a guy.

RAW LIKE COCAINE STRAIGHT FROM BOLIVIA

I went on one of those funny outward-bound
team-building days in Kent last week. It was chronic.
I'm not into this outdoorsy stuff, especially when
these courses always seem to be run by ex-army
mentalists who can't get jobs teaching PE. Put me
inside, put the telly on, give me a vodka & tonic.
There, I'm happy.

MY HIP-HOP WILL ROCK AND SHOCK THE NATION

I'll tell you what; University Challenge my arse. Well
it's OK really, but there is a big 'Who Wants To Be A
Millionaire'-shaped hole in my life. Popkids, I saw
each and every show (I reckon) and if C.T. (as I
beleive Mr Tarrant likes to be known) presented
University Challenge and the kids could win a million
quid I'd be more likely to watch it.

LIKE THE EMANCIPATION PROCLAMATION

Sorry, I've said too much. I'd better go. To all the
Sinister Kids starting uni this week; have a wicked
time, and save the last dance for me. And remember;

It's only easy if you know the answer.

My name's Will Messent, goodnight!


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