Sinister: it's not as if it's fun

[Archel1978 at xxx.com]

there is a chapter in f. scott fitzgerald's 'the beautiful and damned' called 
' a sinister summer'.  it is a very fine book, and quite a good chapter.

i just had a thought (well, i just had lots, but frankly this is the one i 
intended to share with the list,  even though it doesn't have any b&s 
content, although it potentially has self-referential sinister content), 
er... did/does anyone on the list go to a steiner/waldorf school (which are 
NOT 'orrible christian cults, by the way)?  i did, and would like to hear 
what other's people's experiences of it were.  i'm quite ambivalent about it 
still, seven years after i left.  i just wonder how much these things shape 
and change a person, really.

re. lesley jo's musings on death and the fuckness of everything:  my 
homeopath asked me if i was afraid of death.  i had to think for a minute, 
but then i internally said, 'yes you silly cow of course i am, isn't 
everyone?'  i can't imagine not being afraid of it really.  it's like, you 
know constantly that the people close to you, as well as everyone else in the 
world, will die.  and yet you can't believe it, because they're, well they're 
here, now, and they are all these special things to you, and why would anyone 
want to take that away?  what's the point?  and the difference between life 
and death is so huge, yet separated by a second.  i can't get my head round 
that at all.  one minute, most alive, individual person ever, next minute 
nothing.  the same as millions of other people who lived and died.

END OF METAPHYSICAL TRIPE

i think the weather is putting me in this odd mood.  darkness falls upon the 
earth (well sussex) and the rain comes down, then blinding shafts of light 
attack through the clouds and the cold autumn sun glances off the churning 
sea.  it's not good for a person.

sinister has got very melancholy and reflective of late, n'est ce pas?  lots 
of sad love stories.  it must be the winter coming on (though that only works 
for the northen hemishere i guess.)  so let's all get our cardies on and 
snuggle up together like foxes in the snow, staring at the magic sinister 
fire as the nights draw in...

warm hugs, archel xxx

******
Rachel Playforth
archel at iname.com
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