Sinister: "It weren't us that planted the oranges"

[poetryplace2]

So

I got in last night to find FunkySeb throwing up in my living room.
Fortunately he was on tv at the time, appearing as a "pikey" on The Bill. He
was sporting a not-terribly-becoming nose ring, the kind that bulls wear. As
to his acting, I cannot comment. Maybe it was *supposed* to seem like a
Children's Film Foundation performance.

It was quite an interesting evening of television, all told. The Royle
Family returned in mighty fashion, and then they used the Tindersticks "Tiny
Tears" on The Sopranos. After that we watched a peculiar program about the
history of hip hop which seemed to claim that the form was invented by
Michael Caine, The Shadows and Deborah Harry. Curioser and curioser.

How come nobody talks about Spearmint on this list? I may be mental, but
their new LP is the best British record I've heard all year.

Martin Gardner said:
>I really like the smell of new trousers.

Which is the best chat-up line I've heard since Toby Titwank's performance
on Saturday.

Some of you may be asking "hey, dr pants, what on earth has happened to the
new issue of trousercuts, the magazine for men who dig the latest in
postmodern Japanese fiction, but also get off on stories about old men
wanking off dogs?". Well, God willing I will finish it today, and if any of
you are at Track and Field tonight, I might give you one.

Until we meet again

Stevie Trousers
xxx

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