Sinister: this message will self-destruct

[Archel1978 at xxx.com]

i did not say that i was afraid of dying, i said i was afraid of death.  big 
difference.  i'm not scared of my own death at all, despite the fact that my 
personal spiritual system is about as coherent as the average rem song and is 
leaning heavily towards oblivion anyway.  though i am afraid of pain.  but it 
is other people's deaths that bother me, and precisely because you can't do 
anything about it.  noel edmunds was a bad analogy, whoever brought him up, 
because of course i'm scared of him too.

LLPJ.  when i first heard it, i would have likened the experience to eating a 
sandwich of the most delicious double filling between two slices of mouldy, 
crappy bread.  so, you made me forget my dreams and photo jenny were the 
houmous and roasted vegetable of the musical world, with the title track and 
century of elvis being the week old kwik-save loaf.  i now no longer wish to 
disembowel monica queen, as despite her, erm, unique contribution, llpj is 
one of my favourite b&s songs lyrically, and you can dance like a fool to it 
as i discovered at tigerlactating.  you made me forget... and photo jenny are 
still brilliant as well ("i'm in a mess, i'm in a dress" - just beat that for 
a lyric), but elvis does bring the whole sandwich down.  i like it, but i 
physically couldn't listen to it after a few times.  it's like when a really 
good friend starts to tell a story that you've heard before.  it's a good 
story, you like the person, but YOU'VE HEARD IT BEFORE. 

gosh, a whole paragraph of b&s content.  i feel faint from the unaccustomed 
effort.  of course, it'll be doing the whole sinister community a big favour 
when they finally release something and we can talk out of our arses about a 
whole new batch of songs:

Listee 1: oh, see i was right about the downward spiral.  i'm going to go and 
wank [oops, did i type wank, i meant sulk] over my copy of tigermilk until 
they start writing the songs i telepathically told them they should.
Listee 2: does anyone else think that Is It Smutty Not To Ride Buses? sounds 
a bit like a twee-er/slower/faster/better/quieter/backwards/completely 
different version of [insert any title] by The Smiths?
Listee 3:  who is that on the cover?
Listee 4: you know when stuart sings that bit about green arab angels in 
Let's Make This Song Title Really Long, well, i reckon it's referring to a 
small cafe in paris where there is actually a bit of graffiti near the 
ceiling which mentions angels, and i know because mark e. smith wrote it when 
i got him drunk there one night.
Listees 5, 6, 7 and 8: it's [insert name] on the cover.
Listees 9, 10 and 11: you know, i thought the lyric about green arab angels 
was actually saying 'i'm a wanker'.  d'oh, how silly am I?  but it was funny 
wasn't it?
Listee 12: b&s are really good aren't they?  i just really relate to what 
they're saying and they gave me the courage to give up drugs/stop listening 
to oasis/talk to that cute girl/feel superior to people who are happier than 
me/buy a field mice record.  excuse me while i go and cry.
Listee 13: it's [insert name] on the cover.

... i'm bored with that now.  no-one cares anyway.  except my friends who 
live in these little round metallic circles.  they understand.  8 people i 
never met can save my soul, yeah.

blimey, i've gone all cynical.  how unappealing.  sorry.

luv archel xxx

******
Rachel Playforth
archel at iname.com
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