Sinister: my heart snaps in two like an old record would...

[lost madflowr]

but there will always be other copies out there
of the records while my heart's not so easily
replaced.

i don't feel too good right now. radio show at
11:00 am and it's already 2:35 am.  i'm falling
apart. i thought there was some unwritten rule
that you couldn't get your heart broken more
than once a year but for some reason i've been
cursed with the ability to fall in love with
boys who are probably the farthest away from the
kind of boys that i should be with. and golly,
i certainly don't do it on purpose.

i start out being attracted to the right sort
of boy for me and then i stray when i hear nice
words coming from completely wrong for me boy.

and i do find the beauty within wrong for me boy.
i guess that's something i'm good at. but then
i end up falling completely head over heels in
love with wrong for me boy. and something happens
to stomp out what had started between us that was
getting really warm and cozy marshmellow toasting
feeling. and i can't really explain why.

because i have strong opinions i suppose. my
mouth usually gets me in trouble. i used to wish
i was just as dumb as a bunch of people out there
who think they are in love when they know nothing
about the person they are with. they just end up
one day thinking, "shite, i don't know what was
the first song that made my husband/wife cry?" or
something along the same veins. something that i
want to know. maybe i'm too inquisitive. maybe i
just think about it too much. in any case i'm in
a bit of a mess now, because he's my best friend
and i do love him and maybe we started out too
fast. and maybe it's because he hasn't had a girl
friend before. and maybe it's because i have had
too many broken down relationships before they
hit 6 months. i've only had one that lasted longer
than 6 months and that one lasted a year, 2 months,
7 days. or maybe it's because he doesn't like to
dance?

okay. i say enough of this sadness.

lighter note : i met a lurker off sinister
at bis this friday night and it was a treat. it's
really nice to know there are other sinisterites in
the area. come on. picnic time? please?

evol,
madflowr

np: polak
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