Sinister: and i hear her say...

[ipecac spice]

does anyone else sit a stress over subject lines for a long time? i never
know what to put. how to be intreguing and relevant? 

did anyone else recently get a sinister message from erica macarthur dated
"dec. 26"? i thought that was really weird. did it take that long to go
through or is the date on her e-mail wrong? hmmm...

i was fascinated by mandee's little fact about sylvia plath's replacement.
very weird. was there any sort of investigation into it?

today i had a meeting with my prof for my mind and brain philo. class. it
was great. we just sat and talked philosophy for nearly an hour. i'm
writing my final paper on why we can't make a computer that thinks. so we
were trying to figure out what makes us believe that other people and
animals are thinking. i think in the case of people it's b/c i think so i
just assume that other humans think. but animals, i believe that they
think b/c they act. but then does that mean i should ascribe thinking to a
machine that moves around in the world? anybody have any thoughts? in case
anyone else had read Turing it's all in response to his test. i love
having conversations about stuff like that though. i love philosophy. i
left the meeting convinced that if i ever marry it will be to a
philosopher. i know lots of people think you should be happy with having
philosophical conversations with your friends but i don't see why i can't
have that with a boyfriend. it's not all about romance and hugs and
support . i don't see why i should have to settle. 

anyone notice how everytime i post it turns into some sort of rant about
love? i keep trying to convince myself that i will be perfectly content to
live my life without ever finding true love but i don't think i believe
myself. i'm bitter that i put finding love at such a high priority. 

school ends monday. but tomorrow i have my last class. sigh. it's
exhilerating to have no plans b/c i can do anything anytime. but i'm going
to miss school. my self esteem rests in getting good marks and getting
work done under pressure. i don't know what's going to happen to my self
confidence when school is gone. i'm now beginning to understand why people
do grad school. i'm scared that i would get rejected everywhere though. i
also don't know if psychology is really what i want to do with my life but
if it's not i don't know what else to do. 

anyway. ordered the belle and sebastian boxed set from jeepster. it shuold
be here in a week. yay. whoever it was who said that their music is happy
or sad was oh so right. maybe that's why i love them so. b/c when i am
happy there is still always saddness just hidden away for a moment and
when i am sad i know that it's not everything. 

coming home on the bus the other day there was the rudest girl. i got on
by the university and some guy got on at the same time as me. there was a
group of teenagers on the bus (about 16 i think) and i sat a few rows back
on the other side of the bus from them. the guy sat across from them. this
girl starts loudly commenting on how ugly his clothes are and how they
don't match and how people in halifax don't know how to dress and just
wear any old thing (needless to say she was quite the bootyhoe). then, she
begins to loudly talk about how bad the guy sitting directly in front of
her smells! she was saying how it was going to make her puke and how
"somebody needs a bar of soap"! i couldn't believe it. obviously if i
could her her the people she was talking about who were sitting right by
her could too. i wanted to get up an scold her but i knew that she would
just find that a funny story to tell people and it wouldn't make any
difference in her attitude. then she jokes about tripping an old man.
finally, i guess someone overweight got on the bud b/c she started saying
how "somebody needs to go to the gym"! i thought it was terrible. and none
of her friends stood up for the poor people she was mocking. i just told
myself that someday it would come back to her b/c she was creating bad
karma. anyway. i just found that really sad that someone would be so
blatantly disrespectful.

-di



he who hates is to be pitied, but he who loves is to be pitied more
-german proverb

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