Sinister: a sinister health warning

[The Narrow Wizard]

bad news folks.
our beloved sinister has been used to spread a highly infectious computer
virus. The virus named Sinisteritus is passed from computer to operator
leaving up to 1,200 people infected. Please be on the lookout for the
following symptoms.
1)mispronouncing the word great as if it was spelt grate.
2)upon finding a tasty foodstuff pronouncing it to be yum
3)upon being pleased with something giving the DICKIESQUE murmur MMMMMM
Later stages of the disease have much more far reaching effects. One
sufferer (not me honest) recently believed that the Rare Bird song
Beautiful Scarlet was in fact written about Erica Macarthur even though it
was written in 1969 and so predates the youthful beauty.

As the lists resident wizard I have developed a powerful spell to
counteract the virus, all sufferers should follow these intstructions
carefully in order to be free of the virus

1) first find a large tree
2) next a group of people must be found to witness the spell, it is
comunity magic and therefore derives its power from the watching masses.
3) now dance round the tree in a backwards skipping manner
4) after 3 passes around the tree turn and dance forwards another 3 times
while chanting the following incantation "Ooo-ayama-sill-ebugga"

if you follow this advice not only will you be free from the virus but you
will also be protected from mishearing the lyrics to the new single and
album, oh yeah and you'll get a shag in the next week as well.

well now that your health is sorted out time for a few other points.
the book high fidelity is not in fact very good, anyone who disagrees is
directed to read the following so that they know the meaning of the term
great book, the wind up bird chronicle by Haruki Murakami, underworld by
Don DeLilo, and anything by Kafka or Raymond Carver.

Robyn mentioned a film about half japanese which I haven't actually seen
but I'll recomend it anyway just 'cos the soundtrack will be great. Was
listening to "the greatest hits of half japanese" a couple of days ago and
found a rather great bit of writing by David Fair in the sleevenotes, all
aspiring guitarists should read it but here's the gist of it for the rest
of you.
1) don't tune your guitar as it makes it seem like there is a right way
and a wrong way to do things.
2) don't learn any chords as knowing a set of notes and only playing those
limits the amount of noises you can make.
3) don't buy a guitar that has the tuning things on the body of the guitar
rather than at the end of the neck, they look silly and so will you.
4) when choosing strings you could copy david or his brother Jad. David
uses 6 different strings so that he can get more noises out of the guitar,
Jad has 6 strings the same so that he can never hit the wrong string.
5) play an electric guitar rather than an acoustic one, they make more
noise.

well that's more than enough from me,
bye now
and remember to chant
Ooo-ayama-sill-ebugga

love and pink things
    owen

With that the narrow wizard waggled his bushy eyebrows and disappeared in
a flash of blue flame leaving behind only a faint smell of cinnamon

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