Sinister: once again i have no witty subject line...but it's the last time

[ipecac spice]

hi everyone. in a week i will be gone. hey! you don't have to look so
happy! i just wanted to say an early goodbye. i won't have a computer at
my place. i will probably be able to sneak back to the university now and
then to check my messages (for as long as they let me keep this account)
but not often enough to keep up with you lot. thanks to everyone who ever
actually read one of my posts and especially thanks to everyone who ever
actually replied to one of my posts. 

last monday i turned 22. what an icky sounding age. i was thinking that i
might stay 21 for an extra year and then just move on to 23. my mom said i
could do it b/c everyone thinks i'm 18 anyway. most of my friends forgot
my birthday :( and i had to stay in and study b/c i had my last exam the
next day. how strange to be done. i think i can pick my thesis up monday
eek! and i go sign my lease tomorrow! eeek again! anyway, i digress...so,
everyone forgot my birthday. i had a phone call from my bestest friend and
2 e-mails. the ex (some of you probably remember my rants about him)
called me and didn't even mention that it was my birthday! i don't even
understand why he persists in calling when it is so blatantly obvious that
we have nothing to say to each other. it actually turned out to be a great
birthday. i went out for girlie drinks and dancing on wednesday night.
most of my friends came and my little bro and a girl from work. it was the
best birthday i've had in ages. i did not make a drunken fool of myself. i
wasn't even drunk. i had some yummy drinks though. it was retro night at
the bar and we danced up a storm. it was fun b/c i am usually really self
conscious and worry far too much what other people think of me. even
though i was pretty sober i didn't care what anybody thought of me and my
dancing. the disturbing thing is that music that i can remember being
brand new (from junior high) is now retro! they played lots of the 70s and
80s standards (and some earlier ones) but then they played the humpty
dance, marky mark, right said fred, c&c music factory! i don't think 90s
should be retro yet. i am not that old! ah well, it was fun. i went to the
sunrise service with my mom today. now that made me feel old. a girl i
used to babysit was all grownup and a couple of girls i remember being
little kids were talking about graduating from high school. my mom says it
just means that i should go to church more. i think it means i should just
not go at all. seems kind of silly to go to church when i don't believe in
god. but i keeps her happy (my mom that is, not god). anyway...i don't
want to get into a whole religious discussion. just wanted to mention the
feeling old. 

my mom married my dad when she was 20 (engaged when she was 19)! i'm 22
and only just about to move out of my house! funny how much things change
over generations. i'm going to be living all by myself! exciting but
expensive. i am scared of bugs. i'm just subletting for the summer though
and the guy who i'm subletting from is coming back in the fall so i figure
it can't be badly bug infested if he's coming back...right? my little
brother might have cockroaches in his apt! eww! i live in fear of bugs. i
don't know why. when i was in california i nearly lost it i developed the
habit of checking all the walls and the ceiling for bugs when i entered a
room. i don't know if i could handle living in a place with poison
spiders. was it someone on this list who told me about how on average we
swallow about 6 spiders a year? b/c when we sleep they crawlinto our
mouths since it's so nice and warm and damp and dark and then gulp we
swallow them! 

i know...i'm rambling. it's my last post! if you don't like it you can
delete! it's just b/c i have enjoyed you all so much and have to get it
out of my system. i'm still waiting for the lazy line painter jane box
set. it should be here any day now. any day. 

i'm going to go now. has anyone noticed that i have not done my usual
moaning and whining about boys? it's not just b/c i thought i'd be nice
and not subject you all to it. i just don't feel like complaining. there
are no boys on my horizon and i don't care! hmm...how odd...i wonder if
this strange comfort will pass. anyway...if anyone cares to write me i'll
be here until may 1st. 

bye,

di 


he who hates is to be pitied, but he who loves is to be pitied more
-german proverb

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