Sinister: It's it the water y'see. Well, it's in mine...

[Kev]

Hello Sinister,

Well, I got mistaken for a lady again today in Safeway.

It's happened a couple of times before. There was some nasty
oik behind me in the queue who kept shouting questions at
the cashier who was clearly pig sick of being stuck there
rubbing tins of beans over the scanner the whole bank
holiday. She gave them a lovely withering look and said
"excuse me, I'll be with you in a moment once I've served
this lady". I giggled and the oiks burst out laughing. I
felt really bad for the cashier, she looked up at me with a
mortified expression started apologising madly.

I don't think I look much like a girl, not really - I mean
my hair is really quite short, I don't wear makeup or
anything. I know I've got great breasts but that's besides
the point. Oh well.

The other memorable occasion when that happened was a few
years back when I was trying to buy a jumper from BHS. I
signed the Switch slip and the old dear at the till checked
my signature and the card and then looked up at me and said
"I'm sorry love but I can't let you pay with this - it says
*Mr* Bishop here"..... Oh well.

Anyway, people keep asking whether they're the only person
in the world who hasn't heard Legal Man, well, you're not
because I haven't either. Mainly because I can't listen to
the radio for more than five minutes before I break down in
tears. Or start kicking things. I must admit to being quite
fond of the Eurotrash theme though (although not Eurotrash
itself, obviously) so I'm really quite looking forward to
it.

Apparently Belle and Sebastian are poised for world
domination, which is just a bit surreal. All summer it'll be
something like Mayfly pumping out of all the open topped
cars stuck at the lights rather than like, whatever else
they usually play. That'll be bonkers, but at least we'll
all get to say "told you so". I'd love to see them on Top of
the Pops, kicking the drumkit over, breaking amps and all
that good stuff.

That's it, I think. I'm off to work on a hangover for
tomorrow morning. It's still only three so it should be a
doozy.

Kev (misquoted, misshapen)
x

ps. Rob - well done for bringing up the Elian thing. I'm
sure you're speaking for a lot of us -  I for one couldn't
quite belive what I was seeing. How much sillier can it get?

pps. My spell checker wants me to replace "Kev" with "Kiev".
Hmm. Maybe I will. Maybe.


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