Sinister: pete waterman- the well known arse

[Paul Arathoon]

I think that Mr Waterman is just miffed because:
The Stock/Aitkin/Waterman triple axis collapsed in around 1990. His plan was 
to produce anodyne pop well into the 21st century. However, he was unable to 
complete this desire as his henchmen, messers S and A , took up goat farming 
in the pyrennes, their minds eternally warped by Kylie Minougue and Jason 
Donavan's posturing and their eyes blinded by a thousand teenage pop star's 
smiles.He stumbled on as a car insurance salesman occasionally supplementing 
his income with royalties from various albums which were purchased form 
Woolies bargain bin.
Anyway, in the mid 1990's Waterman stumbled upon a magic formula which 
resurrected his muzak career by producing anodyne, lifeless, 
pre-coreographed popstars. he found it by making love to Celine Dion on a 
stormy, full mooned night.
hence Steps

In bonny Scotland, a young chap in a duo (called sell and belastian) heard 
of these wicked miscreants and so set up an elaborate vote rigging system 
that cost the GDP of a small third world nation. Stuart M, for that is our 
hero's name, afforded this with the royalties from a recored called 
Tigermilk. there were actually 100,000 copies printed. He didn't tell anyone 
and then hyped the price so they cost £600 a go. He had all the copies apart 
from 1000. Do the sums....
I digress...

This internet vote rigging system, later sold to T.Blair for a knoghthood, 
allowed Sell and Belastian to win the brit and thus Steps were foiled in 
their attempt to earn Waterman lots of money he doesn't really deserve.

That's why he hates them and is a curmudgeonly old git.

Anyway resemblance to real life in the above is un-bloody likely.

I am off to do Jackanory.

Paul
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