Sinister: read if your extremly bored

[vincent wong]

hey

I guess I'm writing cos I'm bored and been thinking about this girl for a
few weeks now, and just want to express myself to total strangers even
though we're suppose be afamily or something, but lets face it, I'll
probablly never meet anybody here unless by accident or something, or if I
actually go to meet up, then if would only be a few of you's anyways, so
here goes.

Her name is Mary, and I met her in my second last year of high school in
photography class, I had just transfered to this high school so I could try
not to meet people cos I sort of realized I had partied my adolecents away
(I suppose thats a good thing) but I was failing all my classes and I
digress, so I  transferd to a new school.  Not knowing anybody I started
talking to people and stuff, and I sort of somehow started talking to her,
and thought she was a nice person to talk too, not bad looking either.  But
through the months we started talking more and more, and realized that we
did have a lot in common, nothing to do with music, but in art, literature,
dreams etc.  I guess it was then when I started liking this girl when I got
to know her real well ( I didn't like her at first just cos I was casually
dating other girls).  On one occasion we even almost had moment.  We had
both been invited to the art banquet held by our art teachers for the best
art students in the school, and at the end theres a big party in the bar, we
went off to the docks outside instead to talk cos the music inside sucked.
But both of us being nervous as hell, nothiing happend.
The rest of the summer, we sort of lost contact of each other, and only ran
into each other every now and then, and didn't really see her until
September.  Again most of the year we hung out with each other, she was also
editor of the yearbook that year, so I ended up joining the thing for 2
reasons, 1. she asked me, and 2 it was an excuse to spend time with her
after school.  But of course the time after school we never got any work
done cos all we would do is sit in the office and talk til it got dark
outside, and was time to leave school.  As all good things come to an end,
the yearbook got finished, and so did the school year, this was last year, I
got accepted into my first choice of schools, and she had another year in
highschool, we didn't see much of each other since, well we didn't talk for
4 years, she moved and i didn't have her forwarding number, and she's not to
good with phone calls, and she had also starting dating a guy, which she
took forever to tell me, I guess to spare my feelings cos she knew how I
felt about her but never said anything to her.  So it probablly wasn't a
good idea for her to be calling me on regular basis.  But I never really
forgot about her, always compared her to which ever girl I was dating at the
time.  
Then a couple of weeks ago, I went to this dive bar in the sticks, cos I was
at the pub with boys, and one of friends girlfriend wanted to go to this
club which played absoulte shite music like top 40 and terrible r'n'b like
mariah carey or some other crap like that.  So my friends and were joking
about how many diseases you can catch in a place like this since everybody
there were of the dirty type.  For some reazson I was scoping the place out
when I saw her, there she was Mary standing at the bar, she had changed her
hair and let it grow, but other than that she looked the same, perfect in
every way (I'm not exagerating about this part, every girl I talk to about
her always mentions that she always looks perfect too).  As soon I saw her I
ran up to her and she immedietley recognised me and we gave each other hugs.
We started talking, she had told me that she had been thinking about me,
what I was doing, etc, she even knew about stuff about me I didn't think she
would have known, nothing bad, just some things I had been doing with myself
over the past few years.  But what was funny she said she was thinking about
me just the week before, and thats when I had sort of been thinking about
her too, in fact I was trying to get her forwarding number off one of her
friends who i was with this one nite for my other friends b-day at a
concert.  But drunk I forgot to ask her, but again I digress.  So anyways i
thought it was kind of ironic that we started to think of each other at the
same time.  Another thing we talked about was that I had comfessed that I
had the biggest crush on her in school, and she said to me that I had a
chance and didn't use it, now she's still with that other guy I mentioned
earlier, and its been 4 years for them now.  i'm happier for her and all,
but I just want to ruin it for them, she should be with me, since I saw her
first, and she liked me first, she even did a little comparison between us,
and she even saw pluses on my side on things he couldn't even talk about.
Another thing was that she still does have some feeling for me, she told me
so.  
So should I move on, or keep persuing this girl, she seems so perfect for
me, I've never met anybody where i could just hang out with them and talk
for hours on end, and not get bored. I've had long conversation with girls
before, but it always seems to be that I want to get in their pants or
something, but with her its cause i honestly enjoy her company, and getting
into her pants is not a priorty, but a prize for doing something right, but
the better prize has already been given out and that would be her company.
Does this make me sad?  Lusting for a girl thats so close yet so far away.

vince

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