Sinister: Treat your teeth like you treat your woman

[Alasdair Cook MC1996]

Nice day for Billy Mackenzie to sing like a girl. Or like me.

Christ on a unicycle, how I live for SteadyMike concept posts. Roasted
chimpanzees on a bed of lettuce couldn't excite me more. Unless they
were accompanied by Johnny Ball showing me his hair collection. I'm in a
strange mood and I have nothing to say.

I think the problem is that I'm not sure whether I'm happy or depressed.
Perhaps some of both. Like a pinch of joy and a dash of morbidity all
wrapped up in a salad roll. I'd take it back to Marks n Sparks if I were
you. 

I hear the Go-Betweens are back writing some stuff together. However
instead of writing new songs, the lazy bastards will simply be
re-interpreting one song from each of their six albums. The track
listing is as follows:

Your Burn, My Burn.
Musings on the delights of mutual sado-masochism using blowtorches.
Slide guitars slide. Interesting colours.

Cattle Insane
Slightly too late to be topical, but interesting nonetheless. The BSE
crisis as seen from the viewpoint of the sane cows. Disturbing paper and
comb solo. Crumbly.

Slow Slow Music Journalists
Another take on the great NME vs Melody Maker debate, the GoBees come
down eventually in the middle of the fence, and suffer horrendous
injuries as a result. Beguiling glockenspiel played throughout was
recorded inside a septic tank. Controversial.

Spring Rolls
Robert complains about the new head chef in the local Chinese restaurant
not being as generous with the chicken. Poignantly linked with the tale
of how he lost his first girlfriend to the Cambodian car mechanic who
lived on the hill. Which hill is not clear. The string quartet used all
died during the recording of this song. It is not dedicated to them.

The House That Jack Charlton Bought
A tale of conflicting emotions set in Newcastle and Leeds, relating Jack
Charlton's football career to Grant's struggle to find inner peace and
sanctuary through a world of torment. Amusing rendition of 'Who's on
first?' read by Lindy Morrison and Amanda Brown used as the bridge.
Sleigh bells and flugelhorns build to a thrilling climax. Canoodling. 

Meats of Your Town
Robert tells a heartbreakingly nostalgic tale of a girl he once loved
who worked in a butcher's shop, and could get him discount sausages. The
lyrics are oblique, but it seems that she was eventually crushed to
death by a veal cutlet. Discordant harmonies whine. First use of lilac.

The other tracks comprise remixes of old numbers, such as the 'Aussie
Homie Brutha Fucka' remix of Lee Remick by 'Ol Dirty Bastard, and the
'Very clever but dull as dishwater' remix of Right Here by Beck. I look
forward with feted breath.

I should go, it's past my bedtime. I think I am depressed. I may not be.

Sent with love from
Alasdair xx
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